It feels so good to be out here in Schoharie. Got an early start leaving a bit after 7 am. Decided to travel light, didn’t bring my bike or tube, as it’s cool and honestly I want to just set up camp early and relax – it’s been a tough few weeks even if it’s all in my mind.
Started out the day driving down through Hauverville and then out along Keyser Kill. 🏕️ Checked out the Keyser Kill campsite I’ve been thinking about exploring but it’s already taken. Looks nice for a future weekend not far from asphalt. Spend a little time at the Fultonham Rest Area, had to take a pee on a tree and walk 🚶 along the creek for a while.
Really too cold for swimming 🏊 today but tomorrow I plan to spend the balance of the day at Mine Kill before meeting mom and dad for Sunday dinner. 🍔 I wanted to take Monday off from work but I am the only supervisor in the office all week so guess who is assigning all work and pulling the work orders besides all the Director crap I normally do maintaining the database and developing 🎯 new targeting capacity.
I could have brought the bike 🚲 but I am not feeling ambitious today, my focus is get to camp early and lay in the hammock and read. 📖 Hiking Vromans Nose this morning, 🚶 then I’ll head to Middleburgh to get a case of beer 🍻 as I forgot that when packing the cooler. 🧠 My mind was so off while packing with the anxiety. You can say it’s not real, and it’s not but it doesn’t mean it’s not attacking one’s brain. Maybe I’ll also hike Middleburgh cliffs when I’m out that way. Then Shauls for sweet corn, tomatoes and especially zucchuni. 🍆 🌽 🍅 I dud bring good tammaworth hog bacon 🥓 to fry up with the zucchini.
It feels good to be away, 😀 to know that summer vacation is still a real possibility in a few weeks. That not all things are bad despite what my thoughts 💭 may be telling me. Where I can still get out in the country and enjoy the sunshine ☀️ and the hills and mountains ⛰️. I should be so more ambitious but overcoming anxiety has consumed so much of my energy. Yet it still feels kind of liberating to be out here, taking in the hills, mountains and farm landscape and know it’s not all real.
That said, slowly but surely I’m starting to feel better. The truck is driving good. Tomorrow I will continue to work to build my confidence again and later in August I’ll just say, See You in September. But next week I got to be in the office as all the other supervisors are out, and I am working on some neat projects. But I wanted to do a long weekend this weekend.
Beautiful cool, relaxing evening to lay down by the river.
I am so bummed out that the express bus service is coming to an end come four weeks from today, when I’m hopefully on vacation. Not that I’ve ridden in much all summer, preferring my bike most days both for the exercise and saving on the bus fare. Paranoia! Delusions! Sleepless Nights! See what you need is BETTER HELP! Call 988, Operators Are Standing By!
I know the world is not coming to an end if I have to drive to work, 🛻 as most people do. I am in the unique position that I do need to replace my truck in the relatively near future, and I can still ride back and forth to work most days, at least until the snow and ice fall and the time changes. If I want to be stubborn, I can take the local and just spend the time walking laps in the Plaza 👣 while the homeless bums yell at me. Truth is if I’m not riding in, I should be walking and keeping my steps in and the Plaza is warm. Plus between my two jobs with the state and campaign committee I should be getting in early or staying late at least a few days a week so I get my hours in.
I am quite the oddity riding my bike to work and taking the bus and shuttle 🚲 🚍 🚀 to the suburban office. And I know that driving to work isn’t that awful, I don’t live that far from my office – it’s a 15 maybe 20 minute drive each way. 8 3/4 miles on bike, probably about the same in a car, or maybe a little less due to the way the backroads and bike trail wind. It will be more expensive to drive to work with wear and tear on the truck, but I do make good money. Driving to work doesn’t mean I have to drive a 20-year old Honda Civic or that I will be eating cat food scravenged from a dumpster behind the grocery store. Drive to work, and you’ll forever be living in the city, renting a slumlord apartment and so impoverished. 🏘️ Forget ever moving out of the city, owning your own land and having goats 🐐. I think all of the other directors have driven to work for years, as have most of the coordinators at least those who live downtown.
Truth is just feel completely sick 🤮 about the upcoming week, full of anxiety and dread. I know if I ever want to get away again, if I ever want to go on vacation, I need to get away this weekend. I need to ask for Monday off, and I need to head out to the Catskills and Schoharie tomorrow. It will be a nice weekend, 🏕️ and it will be quite enjoyable but all my mind is full of dread like my whole world is crashing down around me and Big Red will leave me stranded on some remote road, even though my mechanic 🛠️ didn’t see any issue and the only one I see is the loose shock bushing, which actually isn’t that awful. Just the idea of packing and getting away, even just for a weekend seems to be so mentally exhausting. 😴 I am going to try to do it though as I don’t know the alternative. It will be fine, despite my fear and delusions.
I slept so little last night, waking up at 1 AM and then spending much of the night listening to podcasts about Trump rolling back the endangerment finding then a dozen other podcasts it seemed. At least every five minutes wasn’t sponsored by Better Help last night, with the obnixous message, “See What You Need is BETTER HELP!!!” I did make the mistake and thumbed through one of those used auto ads on Facebook and all my feed now is car dealers trying to hawk their wares at me. So you need that car? We sell 20 year old Honda Civics on credit, only 13% APR to even those with bad credit. And then just my shock at the listing prices of even compact trucks. But I do want to get a pickup that is comfortable, safe, and reliable come next year for the trip to Michigan but I want to get a little more life out of Red. Plus I want to have something that is easy and comfortable for commuting to work, especially as it seems necessary now that they are taking away my bus.
This evening I want to head down to the Hudson River to read for a while. I got six audio books to go through the next three weeks, plus four e-books. One book on anxiety and one on the Art of Thinking Clearly. Both good things I think I can use. An Joel Salatin of You Can Farm fame audio book, because I need more hillbilly wokeness in my life. Salatin is an obnoxious son-of-a-bitch but he knows how to sell books, I own two of his books and farm products. Also an audio book on the fight over the Bear’s Ear Wilderness and tips for dating. Then four e-books – one on sustainable building, one on southern rustic cabins, one one on Ansel Adams and te The Ultimate Preppers Handbook. Lots of reading, too bad they’re due back before vacation at the end of August. But I’ll get new books for vacation.
Then I will get some groceries. Maybe do some packing, though I don’t neccessarily need a lot for summer camping for just two nights. I thought about going out tonight, but I’m tired, and I want to wait until I hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. Then after a successful weekend trip, all will hopefully fall back into place. It really isn’t the end of the world if I have to drive to work sometimes when I can’t ride. Or just take the slow bus into work.
Simply said, voters don’t like party bosses dictating how they vote. Redistricting makes a difference around the margin but you can only crack and pack districts so much. You can put weight on the scale but if you stir up a lot of angry Democrats and even Independent minded Republican learners to vote Democratic, it can very much backfire.
I think map drawers often think they are playing the ultimate chess game but it’s really just playing around the margin. If 2026 turns out to be a sweep for Democrats things could be particularly bad for Republicans in Texas – as not only are they stirring up the angry masses – they’re making formerly safe Republican incumbents riskier by cracking Democratic districts and putting those Democrats into Republican districts. Moreover it’s certain blue states will retaliate with their own mid-census redistricting efforts.
Politicians have long put their fingers on the scales in elections. Yet it seems those efforts are fraught and demographics and voting patterns change as people move and views change. Rigging elections can work but they can also be wildly unpredictable. I’m not convinced it’s as devastating as some believe it might be.
waking up at 1 AM and then spending much of the night listening to podcasts about Trump rolling back the endangerment finding then a dozen other podcasts it seemed. 
At least every five minutes wasn’t sponsored by Better Help last night, with the obnixous message, “See What You Need is BETTER HELP!!!” I did make the mistake and thumbed through one of those used auto ads on Facebook and all my feed now is car dealers trying to hawk their wares at me. 
So you need that car? We sell 20 year old Honda Civics on credit, only 13% APR to even those with bad credit. And then just my shock at the listing prices of even compact trucks. But I do want to get a pickup that is comfortable, safe, and reliable come next year for the trip to Michigan but I want to get a little more life out of Red. Plus I want to have something that is easy and comfortable for commuting to work, especially as it seems necessary now that they are taking away my bus. 
I got six audio books to go through the next three weeks, plus four e-books. One book on anxiety and one on the Art of Thinking Clearly. Both good things I think I can use. 
An Joel Salatin of You Can Farm fame audio book, because I need more hillbilly wokeness in my life. 
Salatin is an obnoxious son-of-a-bitch but he knows how to sell books, I own two of his books and farm products. 
Also an audio book on the fight over the Bear’s Ear Wilderness and tips for dating. 
Then four e-books – one on sustainable building, one on southern rustic cabins, one one on Ansel Adams and te The Ultimate Preppers Handbook. Lots of reading, too bad they’re due back before vacation at the end of August. But I’ll get new books for vacation.
Maybe do some packing, though I don’t neccessarily need a lot for summer camping 
for just two nights. I thought about going out tonight, but I’m tired, and I want to wait until I hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. Then after a successful weekend trip, all will hopefully fall back into place. It really isn’t the end of the world if I have to drive to work sometimes when I can’t ride. Or just take the slow bus into work.
