Healthier in my forties

I smoke pot and drink cheap beer,
up in the wilderness.
Yes it’s my right !

Mission Fifty

A few years back, I became officially in my 40s! I am building to a better life in my 50s, which means getting up early, walking a lot, saying no to cake and yes to more fruit. In many ways, the forties are an awesome time to be alive.

Mission Fifty: Getting to the point where I own my own land.
Healthy Eating / Growing My Wealth
Healthy Thoughts / Enjoying Life

Eating Healthier

And eating healthy for less without losing sleep over arsenic. And I don’t think we should subsidize unhealthy habits. How I got started in eating healther. Meals are too focused on meat and carbs due to how we describe them, maybe I eat too many bananas in the office, what to eat while camping, worry more about salt then GMOs, eat more beans.

Means cooking better and getting good ingredients

Do spend extra for farmers market peaches, especially doughnut peaches and plums. Consider ethnic supermarkets. Thinking about how to make a healthier macaroni and cheese, spinach-mackeral-pasta salad, quick-cook biscuits and whole-wheat bread. That said, too many recipes are junk food crap. Truth is I am a bit of a vegan with an occasional side of locally-raised bacon. It’s amazing that something as pungent as hog shit can be turned in true delightful treat. Okay in moderation is not okay. I make an exception For the Love of Bacon though. Some day I’ll be a hog farmer.

The fact that I’m thinner as I don’t eat all that processed crap any more is not a sign I’m dying.

Thinking about my parents getting older and time

What conversations do I need to have with Mom and Dad? How to document their lives, keep what is special in their lives in ethical will? Thinking about anticipatory grief and the final dinners together. At times I find myself walking around my parents homestead, envisioning what a stamp I could put on it should I inherit it. I guess my sister might want it but she has a house in Saratoga. And who knows about what debts there will ultimately be with the estate. I do want a homestead, but maybe not in New York.

Am I mentally ill? Or just a fire-crazed redneck?

A few years back I decided to explore my mental illness with therapy, thinking about why I have so much anxiety, especially over my old Big Red truck and how many of my values are rational or just thinking too much rednecks’ burn barrels and how much of a throwaway society we live in. But I like burning things up in the woods. Fuck the greenie’s burn ban.

I’m not gay, just a pyromaniac and a fire bug. I’ve thought about getting a girl friend to shovel manure but I like my freedom and having money.

Definately, spend too much time feeding the anxiety monster in my head. Really, I have to remind myself, it’s all in my head. The monsters do exist, as reported by the news, but maybe not in my life. Keeps me for too long in my comfort zone. I have many reason for hope, even if there are times of feeling hopeless. And confusion, brought on by all the changes in the world. Ultimately, you do the best you can do. Thinking about strategies for having more confidence in your decision making.

… The question is do I want to change? To change to what?

Advertising drives me nuts

Targeted advertising, really feeds my anxiety.

As the web advertisers says, “Know the Sneaky Signs of Schizophrenia”. I am just interested in schizophrenia because I like my solitude and paranoia and delusions can be a side effect of smoking grass. But not only does the internet ad world think I’m schizophrenic, apparently I also have AIDS. Maybe because I researched some AIDS organization grants for work. And so many ads for rare diseases and cancers. Apparently everybody is dying on the internet.

Then there are those endless advertisements for Better Help, because I am crazy, after all.

I laminated that it cost $2,000 to get new 35 inch tires for my big jacked up truck a few years back, and was fed a steady set of ads for $19.95 rent-a-center tires, which I was thought was kind of sad. Hell, these days that is probably a deal. At least, I’m getting recommended for great vacations in warm sunny places the advertisement promised. I think I’d rather just camp somewhere up in wilderness with a big ol fire.

I’ve learned to care less about the world

The key is to focus more on myself and care less about everybody’s else’s problems. Life is hard enough as it is to take everything so personally. Ultimately, I’m the only one who can make my life better.

I am happier as I am now, saving and investing a lot towards owning my own land, where I don’t have to deal with all the bullshit of modern life.

And I do smoke more grass now that it’s legal

Smoking pot is fascinating. Enjoying the rich colors in wilderness. To come up with new ideas and be inspired. I’m not a pot head, but I do like a good toke and lots of giggles in wilderness occasionally. Truth is, I like thinking about smoking pot more then being stoned out of my mind. I actually blog about it far more then I toke. I think the last time I bought a joint was 8 months ago.

Yes, that stuff we used to think of as the smell of crime. Thoughts on Stoner Culture. A bit of exaggeration. Not that the blog advertisers like it.

A map of licensed pot retailers in NYS.