I am so bummed out that the express bus service is coming to an end come four weeks from today, when I’m hopefully on vacation. Not that I’ve ridden in much all summer, preferring my bike most days both for the exercise and saving on the bus fare. Paranoia! Delusions! Sleepless Nights! See what you need is BETTER HELP! Call 988, Operators Are Standing By!
I know the world is not coming to an end if I have to drive to work, 🛻 as most people do. I am in the unique position that I do need to replace my truck in the relatively near future, and I can still ride back and forth to work most days, at least until the snow and ice fall and the time changes. If I want to be stubborn, I can take the local and just spend the time walking laps in the Plaza 👣 while the homeless bums yell at me. Truth is if I’m not riding in, I should be walking and keeping my steps in and the Plaza is warm. Plus between my two jobs with the state and campaign committee I should be getting in early or staying late at least a few days a week so I get my hours in.
I am quite the oddity riding my bike to work and taking the bus and shuttle 🚲 🚍 🚀 to the suburban office. And I know that driving to work isn’t that awful, I don’t live that far from my office – it’s a 15 maybe 20 minute drive each way. 8 3/4 miles on bike, probably about the same in a car, or maybe a little less due to the way the backroads and bike trail wind. It will be more expensive to drive to work with wear and tear on the truck, but I do make good money. Driving to work doesn’t mean I have to drive a 20-year old Honda Civic or that I will be eating cat food scravenged from a dumpster behind the grocery store. Drive to work, and you’ll forever be living in the city, renting a slumlord apartment and so impoverished. 🏘️ Forget ever moving out of the city, owning your own land and having goats 🐐. I think all of the other directors have driven to work for years, as have most of the coordinators at least those who live downtown.
Truth is just feel completely sick 🤮 about the upcoming week, full of anxiety and dread. I know if I ever want to get away again, if I ever want to go on vacation, I need to get away this weekend. I need to ask for Monday off, and I need to head out to the Catskills and Schoharie tomorrow. It will be a nice weekend, 🏕️ and it will be quite enjoyable but all my mind is full of dread like my whole world is crashing down around me and Big Red will leave me stranded on some remote road, even though my mechanic 🛠️ didn’t see any issue and the only one I see is the loose shock bushing, which actually isn’t that awful. Just the idea of packing and getting away, even just for a weekend seems to be so mentally exhausting. 😴 I am going to try to do it though as I don’t know the alternative. It will be fine, despite my fear and delusions.
I slept so little last night, waking up at 1 AM and then spending much of the night listening to podcasts about Trump rolling back the endangerment finding then a dozen other podcasts it seemed. At least every five minutes wasn’t sponsored by Better Help last night, with the obnixous message, “See What You Need is BETTER HELP!!!” I did make the mistake and thumbed through one of those used auto ads on Facebook and all my feed now is car dealers trying to hawk their wares at me. So you need that car? We sell 20 year old Honda Civics on credit, only 13% APR to even those with bad credit. And then just my shock at the listing prices of even compact trucks. But I do want to get a pickup that is comfortable, safe, and reliable come next year for the trip to Michigan but I want to get a little more life out of Red. Plus I want to have something that is easy and comfortable for commuting to work, especially as it seems necessary now that they are taking away my bus.
This evening I want to head down to the Hudson River to read for a while. I got six audio books to go through the next three weeks, plus four e-books. One book on anxiety and one on the Art of Thinking Clearly. Both good things I think I can use. An Joel Salatin of You Can Farm fame audio book, because I need more hillbilly wokeness in my life. Salatin is an obnoxious son-of-a-bitch but he knows how to sell books, I own two of his books and farm products. Also an audio book on the fight over the Bear’s Ear Wilderness and tips for dating. Then four e-books – one on sustainable building, one on southern rustic cabins, one one on Ansel Adams and te The Ultimate Preppers Handbook. Lots of reading, too bad they’re due back before vacation at the end of August. But I’ll get new books for vacation.
Then I will get some groceries. Maybe do some packing, though I don’t neccessarily need a lot for summer camping for just two nights. I thought about going out tonight, but I’m tired, and I want to wait until I hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. Then after a successful weekend trip, all will hopefully fall back into place. It really isn’t the end of the world if I have to drive to work sometimes when I can’t ride. Or just take the slow bus into work.
waking up at 1 AM and then spending much of the night listening to podcasts about Trump rolling back the endangerment finding then a dozen other podcasts it seemed. 
At least every five minutes wasn’t sponsored by Better Help last night, with the obnixous message, “See What You Need is BETTER HELP!!!” I did make the mistake and thumbed through one of those used auto ads on Facebook and all my feed now is car dealers trying to hawk their wares at me. 
So you need that car? We sell 20 year old Honda Civics on credit, only 13% APR to even those with bad credit. And then just my shock at the listing prices of even compact trucks. But I do want to get a pickup that is comfortable, safe, and reliable come next year for the trip to Michigan but I want to get a little more life out of Red. Plus I want to have something that is easy and comfortable for commuting to work, especially as it seems necessary now that they are taking away my bus. 
I got six audio books to go through the next three weeks, plus four e-books. One book on anxiety and one on the Art of Thinking Clearly. Both good things I think I can use. 
An Joel Salatin of You Can Farm fame audio book, because I need more hillbilly wokeness in my life. 
Salatin is an obnoxious son-of-a-bitch but he knows how to sell books, I own two of his books and farm products. 
Also an audio book on the fight over the Bear’s Ear Wilderness and tips for dating. 
Then four e-books – one on sustainable building, one on southern rustic cabins, one one on Ansel Adams and te The Ultimate Preppers Handbook. Lots of reading, too bad they’re due back before vacation at the end of August. But I’ll get new books for vacation.
Maybe do some packing, though I don’t neccessarily need a lot for summer camping 
for just two nights. I thought about going out tonight, but I’m tired, and I want to wait until I hopefully get a good nights sleep tonight. Then after a successful weekend trip, all will hopefully fall back into place. It really isn’t the end of the world if I have to drive to work sometimes when I can’t ride. Or just take the slow bus into work.