Personal

My bags are packed, ready to go 💼

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Made a little bit more progress at getting things cleaned up and packed for camping. Despite checking the list twice, I’m sure there is things I missed but I can either get them up at Charlie John’s or do without them through Sunday. Going to be hot, so I’m not going to be super amtious or hungry, Hopefully I got the essentials or can live without.

I don’t know why this heat is particularly tough on me this year, 😩 but it really wears me out quickly after being exposed to it. By all standards with my low-fat, high-fiber diet that is more vegetarian that I may want to admit, and I’m in excellent shape from all that riding back and forth to work. I know, I was looking at myself in the mirror, 🪞I don’t look anything like the old photos. It’s the stress and figuring out what is the right option with my housing situtation, knowing every minute that ticks by might be that the place I’m looking at gets sold. Truth is I don’t have anything invested in it at this point, just time and imagination.

I am glad to be beating this heat. 😰 It will be warm up north, especially working and researching at the public library on Wednesday, but I don’t think I’ll be neccessarily stuck there all day. I do plan to kayak the Kunjamunk and cool off and swim in Lake Pleasant. Thursday, depending on what comes in work wise, I’ll head over to Piseco-Powley, and hopefully get the House Pond Campsite 🏕 through Thursday. Then I can ride to the Potholers 🚴 and float in the tube ⭕ on East Branch of Sacandaga River.

There are just so many things to think about if and should I buy the rundown homestead next to my parents. 🏚 Besides the obvious things only I can answer — do I want the commute, all te work of rebuilding a fixer-up and tending to animals on a homestead. 🐔 I would love though to have a healthy, relatively inexpensive source of meat for my diet — that outdoor sink and overhang is perfect for butchering rabbits and chickens. And those are probably the healthiest sources of meat. 🏕 But it would mean the end of adventures like this weekend. ⌛ Time is running out, somebody might close on it before I do, though I have my doubts many people — those interested in a tiny run-down house and homestead — would have $150k pus they could access with cash. I could, but it’s not that easy as I have to sell stocks to do it. But thae market’s good, but Capital Gains taxes suck.

I’ve been figuring out who to talk to in the neighborhood to learn more about the property. 📞 I want to figure out if I would be accepted back in my old neighborhood, how people feel about me and my plans for the land. 🐐 Some I can call, and some people I’m facebook friends and can message about. Need to figure who to turn to as a home inspector and real estate lawyer and survey. 🗺 A survey should be relatively inexpensive, as the property is relatively straightforward, but I did not like how evasive the of real estate agent was on which parcels are part of the property — pretty sure its both the pasture and hay field from the listed acerage, deeds and previous ownership — but I don’t want any surprises in case it was sudivided. I also need to talk to my insurance agent about the cost of insurance, and the possibility of replacing the oil burner with an air-source heat pump and small EPA and code-complient woodstove. Some times insurance companies really don’t want people to heat with wood, 🪓 because you can do it wrong and easily burn down the building. Also should confirm with the town the permitted septic, in case that needs replacement — especially as it’s right next to feeding creek for Alcove Reservior. I have to insist either they turn on the power and water during the due diligence period in the in contract, so I know if the water and septic are good, or if I need to have either replaced. And then I can use that decision to walk or negogiate a fair price. 💭 So much to think about. And so litte time, as my chances of losing this one increase every minute I research.

Camping will be great, and I think the cool breeze will allow me to preform neccessary research 🛫 and work remotely as needed tomorrow. I’m not thinking it will be that much research, but without a camping permit, I can only stay at one campsite for three nights, and the ice ain’t going to hold more then three nights at any rate in the heat. 🛶 Plan to canoe the Kunjamunk and swim tomorrow. 🏊 Hopefully the bugs won’t be too bad but I have the bug screen and lots of DEET packed. 🐜 Thursday through Sunday then I will be totally off the phone network 📚 which will be good for catching up on my reading and podcasts, at least those I download first. 📻

In this heat packing for camping is a slow drag 😰

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I’m doing the best I can at getting things set up for the next six days camping but so many things are on my mind. I hate to lose what could be my starter dream homestead but there are also so many red flags in my mind. I need to talk to some more people. And I really need to decide if moving back out to the country is right for me at this point.

I went shopping this evening, gassed up the truck and got ready for the trip. Many things are packed, many are not. It’s just tough in the heat, it makes me feel weak and want to collapse. I’ve kind of forgotten about what summer is really like. I went to the Alfred Smith building today to talk to old colleagues about my thoughts about whether I should buy or wait for something better but it never came up.

Time for sleep then it’s the hurry to finish up in the morning and then off to work then to the Adirondacks in the heat. Hopefully it will be somewhat cooler there especially in the swimming holes. Its tough to do research when I’m supposed to be working in the office but I’m thinking Wednesday when I’m in Spectulator I can give it more thoughts and ask for more advice. I’d like to reach out to some of the neighbors to get their thoughts on the house and me as a potential neighbor. Some of those kids in high school were such bullies but we’re now adults and I get the class divide and how my parents were liberal back to the landers in a conservative, often generations and generations deep countryside.

Understanding Anticipatory Grief

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Understanding Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief, or anticipatory mourning, is defined as the grief that occurs before a loss. It is commonly experienced by the loved ones of an individual with a terminal diagnosis as well as the individual who is dying. However, it can also be experienced in any situation where a pending change may lead to loss, such as a move to a new city, a job change, or a child leaving home for college.

Anticipatory grief has a lot in common with conventional grief, the grief one experiences after a loss. Furthermore, anticipatory grief can start at any time prior to the loss.

For example, if a loved one has a life-threatening illness such as cancer, a family member or close relative may experience anticipatory grief at any point from the initial onset of symptoms to the time of the diagnosis to when they enter hospice care. On the other hand, it may also be experienced even if the loved one ultimately recovers from the illness.

Truth is I really liked that house next to my parents that I toured 🏚️ 🥰

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It needs work, but it’s not awful, though a lot of questions remain in my mind about the water, septic, furnace, foundation, etc. It’s not pretty inside, but it’s not terrible either, I’ve seen a lot worse for fixer uppers and it’s cleaned up from most of the garbage though the walls need some work and the foundation is questionable, with part of the floor collapsing though it’s one story with no basement. Outdoor kitchen for butchering meat, horse stalls, kitchen coop, garage, hay field which the neighbors kept well manured with pig shit — and for a while rotting pig carcasses when they were pissed at former landlord. By now though rotted down, it would grow an awesome hay crop.
It’s kind of a cool place, and has a great price. 🏡 It’s cash only, and it’s road noisy and needs work, as the interior was somewhat vandalized by the last tenants before they got evicted like smashing holes in the walls and one of doors, puck-marking the refigerator, The collapsing floor in one room is a bit concerning, and the fact the water and electric are turned off, so it’s hard to know what works and what doesn’t — and what damage was done to the plumbing and phyiscal plant of building. Not a lot of asbestos though, and the vinyl siding and roof look pretty new even if what’s below them looks a bit rotten. Foundation looks to be mostly fieldstone, who know what the beams are a like. But those are questions for a home inspector to determine, if I decide to go that route. $150k is a lot of money but not for even an rundown almost tiny house at 792 square feet and acerage, and it could be neat, though I do question if I really want to move out to country, and live down the road from my parents. I’m going to talk to some people and think about it more. 🚜 And then I can figure out how much I’ll end up owing in Capital Gain taxes.

Part of the calculation is whether or not I would be accepted back in my old neighborhood. 🐂 I am kind of a good ol’ boy, but not like real good ol’ boys. I grew up from college educated parents, and I went to college and I’m a professional, data scientist of sorts. 👩‍💻 I’m sure they’re still not happy about the old landlord and losing the house. And that property has two acres of hay acerage, and I’d need to come up with some kind of agreement to have somebody come and bale it either for their usage, maybe taking some bedding hay as rent. 🚜 And I would sure hope they kept dumping barnyard scraping out on the field for obvious reasons, though maybe not the rotting pig carcasses when they had the dispute with the former landlord. 💩 👃 Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here. I don’t know if I will be out bid or even if I should go forward, the not having the septic and water running, or the electric worries me, though I was told they would have to turn such things on when I signed the contract, and had the home inspector come in during the due dilligence period. I would say write up the contract now, don’t loose out, but I don’t want to waste a ton of money on something that is a gamble.

And I wish it had a wood stove, though it has forced oil hot air which could be easily converted to a heat pump or even a split-level unit. 🪵Then I’d have both heat and air conditioning. The lot doesn’t have a lot of wood on-site, I’d have to buy wood if I had a woodstove or look at eventually buying another lot for producing my own wood. I would like to have a wood stove, especially if I’m looking at going the heat pump route as soon as I can afford it for both AC and heat. Heat pumps are great, ♨️ but in very cold weather are more expensive to operate, and are slow to recover after power outages. I’m sure I could get free pallets for bonfires out back. 🔥 The good ol’ boy eighbors had a big old bonfire last night, and some of the shit they were burning in evening and first thing in the morning when they were putting it out not ony made a great big smoke show but also was burnt-ABS plastic stinky like they burned a junk television or other appliance. Maybe it was just the mattaress or two they had in their fire. I’m not thinking of having a smoldering burn barrel full of plastic in a residential neighborhood, but it’s zoned ag, and besides having pigs and goats, I’d probably have an occassional bonfire, burn some paper trash and wrappers with nobody giving a damn. 🗑 I can always take the real garbage to transfer station and do the pretend recycling ♻️ with the plastic bottles.

At the same time, the heat wave is approaching. 😎 🌊 It’s going to be so hot. I could loose out if I don’t get a contract signed right away, 🤝 on the other hand, the place is kind of mess and it’s a small old building, and I don’t think it’s going to be that competitive, as it’s werid property in many ways — house is small and old, very country-cabin inside. One floor, no basement. Strange parcel shape. I want to get more people’s perspectives then my own. But once I’m up north, going to be hard to sign a contract until next week. ✍ I could stick around a few more days, but I want to see what some of my buddies say. I’ve talked to a few, want to talk to a few more else. But certainly I’m leaning towards this way. Also, would want a property survey, as the real estate agent didn’t know where the property boundaries are and what is included and not in the sale. I just worry about getting scammed, and dropping all this money on a property I can’t live on or fully use. I am looking forward to the Adirondacks and cold swimming holes. ⛰ But that’s a stupid reason to give up the potentia property of my dreams.

The first two or three days of my trip I will be in Spectulator-area doing part-time remote work, 💻 so I have the possibility to be talking to people and researching the property more. But I know every minute I wait, I also risk loosing out. But if it doesn’t happen, there are other options, including building that off-grid cabin I really want on acerage in a free state without the burn ban or gun laws. Yet, this also doesn’t have to be my final house. Maybe I’m too much selling myself on this property. 🤷‍♂️ Tuesday night I’ll be up north, having a nice fire, sipping some cold beer with my cowboy hat. 🤠 Wednesday I’ll be out paddling the Kunjamunk and swimming in Lake Pleasant, enjoying the lake breeze. I’ll need ice from Speculator by mid-week at any rate, as it won’t hold up well in the heat.

Thursday or maybe Friday, I’m heading over to the Potholers and Piseco-Powley, assuming enough of the work crap is wrapped up by then and I can safely get off the grid 🔕 for two or three days of floating down the East Branch of the Scanadaga on the intertube. ⭕ The Pothoers are going to be nice in the heat. Then Sunday after the heat breaks, I really want to paddle lily lake and explore there. 🌺 Even if I do want to settle down and homestead eventually, I do like my days and weekends in the wilderness.