Personal
If you are grieving on this Father’s Day…
Said the email from one of the mental health lists I’m subscribed to.
I’m in my forties, and I am well aware of that day coming for my mom and dad. I try to get out and spend time with them as you never know when it will be your last visit. Sure, there are signs of decline but it happens gradually until it’s over. I’ve seen it time and time again with older people I know.
One of the things I grapple with is what questions to ask and what things to say before it’s too late. I often struggle to find the words to say to those who I know are in their final chapters. I usually just focus on the present and wish them good luck and after a while small chatting, it’s I’ll see you soon. Usually that’s how the final conversation ends.
Some people give gifts and trinkets. I’ve never been into that material things. Instead I give time, some conversation and focus on the today. I enjoy taking my parents on road trips and showing them some of the places I’ve explored and camped in the back country. Time together is what really matters as you can never get that back.
Will I grieve when I lose my parents? Yes, for sure but I won’t dewell on it forever. Yet, I will find closure and put it behind me, knowing there were the good times and some questions will never be answered. It’s fine though, you can’t get back days that were but only live for today while making the right choices today for a better tomorrow.
FOMO and YOLO
If you don’t do it now, you will never do it. Hurry in, deals like this don’t last! You could drop dead tomorrow, so be best to do it today.
The frenzied marketing of today emphasizes missing out. It is all persuasive, it part of the ideology of many people. Things that accumulate and compound for good are best to do today but a fear of simply missing out is not a good reason for doing something.
You simply won’t do everything in your life that you desire. Somethings will pass you by, it’s impossible to do everything. But if you invest in your self – save, invest, eat healthy and exercise – you keep a lot more doors open for the future. Waiting until you are fully ready can often be the best option.
Found the rope that bounced off the bike heading back to camp last night 🪢
That’s good I didn’t want to loose it even if it’s old retired rope I used to use for tying my kayak on but now is only used for hanging flags and clothes.
Nice night hammock camping 🏕 though chilly come the morning. I could have camped at the lean to up here on Cotton Hill – technically Dutch Settlement State Forest but I chose to wilderness camp as I knew the firewood supply is better 🪵 and I didn’t want to run into any people. 🔥 Nice quiet night, cooked breakfast over the fire.
I am going to hike down to the Middleburgh cliffs this morning 🏞 and then drive over to the Gas Up 🚜 and then go over to my parents house. I got to first take down camp but it’s warming up fast and going to be a beautiful day. ☀
I really have mixed emotions about looking at that house tomorrow morning. 🏡 Truth is I’m not really ready to be a homeowner and I’ve not fully examined the tax obligations I face if I sell a bunch of stock to buy it. It is cash only and it would be nice to only pay property tax and homeowners insurance on the property. I could learn a lot about fixing up a home prior to building that off grid homestead I really want and dabble in homesteading on the 4 1/2 acres. 🐔 But there is no guarantee I’ll get the winning bid and it might turn out to be a lot rougher inside then what listing agent chose to highlight. I suspect that it is based on the price and the way the agent discussed it over the phone. I’ll find out more in less than 24 hours.
Truth is I don’t really want to live out in the country 🐮 and commute back and forth to work. I like riding my bike to work or the convenience of the bus 🚍. The cost of gas especially with Big Red is going to be substantial. Plus the thing is my old neighborhood growing up doesn’t really have that rural, mountain country feeling I love. 😍 It’s not like when I travel and camp in the wilderness. 🌲Not be stuck at home, mowing grass and tending to sick goats 🐐. But I hate being treated like a kid or an impoverished nigger and by the landlord as just a cash cow. 💵 Yet, renting is more affordable when you consider taxes, maintenance, commuting and repairs. Stock market investments are volatile but so is the housing market and it’s easier to dump stock then a house. 📊 And buying a house means I give up so much of what I actually love in life. ⛺ I think I would be almost better off to find a smaller studio apartment in the city, one slightly less decrepit and focus on travel for as long as I’m stuck working in Albany. Keep up investing but if I have to cut back somewhat due to inflation so be it – one thing that is nice is a 3% COLA at a $100k wage is far bigger than a 3% COLA at $50k. Plus I have a vision to transform my agency into a data power house, 🖥 automatically building lists 📃 and querying demographics in ways that can really get our, client’s message out and the title of Director of Data Services sounds impressive even if it’s mostly supervising a division of secretaries and running some SQL queries and writing some R code.
I do certainly crave those mountains ⛰ and the hollers like driving 🚘 out along Dutch Settlement Road last night 🐐 but this is too far out to reasonably commute and it’s still fucking New York with its gun 🔫 laws and the burn ban. 🔥 It felt so good to be driving out here last night seeing the shadows of the mountains. I really want to live on a mountain in a cabin. In the wilderness! 🦁 I could afford the land and the cabin right now but the more I wait the more I can save and improve on my vision for the future 🔮. Just got to remind myself tomorrow I’m just looking and it’s fine and acceptable to say no. I’d probably get out bid at any rate.
30 miles later…. 🚲
I’m happy with the performance of the bike. Breaking that rear spoke earlier in the week wasn’t the worst thing ever as with the rear wheel trued up it rode at 35-40 mph down the New Salem Hill much better then before. The front wheel noise remains gone since tightening it up this morning and the steering is good since tightened the bolts. The new rubber on the front and back make it excellent on the trails but I was careful this time to avoid abusing it too much lest I break another spoke or not the nicely trued rear wheel out of alignment.
Bike 🚲 is back on the road again
It turns out all of rattling I heard in the front wheel wasn’t a wheel bearing or loose spoke but the stupid ass reflector that was loose and rattling. Tightened that up and made some rubber shims from old bike tube to keep it from rubbing and also more securely attached the speed sensor magnet to avoid rattles. Put ten miles so far on the bike today and it’s been quiet except an occasional rattle from the pedal crank or maybe the pedals at hard pedaling but I don’t think that noise is new.
I also loosened up and retightened all the handle bar bolts and now the front end is good and tight. Lubricated the pedals and crank, chain and front shaft. I still need to replace the rear brake pads but I’m going to wait until I’m back from the Adirondacks to order them along with new handle grips and a bolt on kickstand. Today I’m riding at Thacher Park but I plan to be much more gentle riding trail today while realizing that I own a mountain bike and it should be used for such things and not just boring rides back and forth to work.
Jeffries Cow-toing New York State
I am a bit annoyed at what at least appears in my mind to be the House Minority Leader using his power to push around state government to his fitting – – namely doing what he can to pick up the suburban US House seats in New York so he can become Speaker of the House.
I watched him push overturning the US House lines drawn by the Special Master and most recently canning the Congestion Pricing in Lower Manhattan. While he certainly did not act alone, I think he put a lot of pressure on the state government to adopt both initiatives – – the result being more partisan politics and dirtier air.
Now I know he didn’t act alone. The Court of Appeals, the Governor and the legislature enacted the partisan Gerrymandering of the house lines. At least they showed some restraint. Not that the Special Master was completely neutral – – the Stueben County Probate Court Judge who oversaw him was be definition a hard-core Republican hack. Heck, that judge oversaw the partisan, Republican redistricting of the Stueben County legislature. And he was the finance chair for the Stueben County GOP for many years. Still, I do think his plan was more competitive then the one the Democrats crammed through.
And then Congestion Pricing. I get it, life is tough, budgets suck these days with inflation. That extra $15 or $60 a week, even in the inflated nature of Manhattan prices and salaries had to be a tough bite for many, especially those reliant on private automobiles to get to work. Even relatively well off-to-do people, like most Manhattan commuters have tight budgets. I would be cranky too if I had to pay it. But let’s be honest, it was for the better good of society – – namely less traffic in LOMA and less air pollution.
Maybe I’m blaming all of our state and nation’s problems on one man, and maybe I’m not a good Democrat. But I don’t like bending the rules just so the Democrats can win the house, and I certainly do not like bending the rules on grounds, “we are saving democracy”. Sure, I would like a check on President Trump’s power if it’s he’s re-elected, but playing partisan politics with some of our state’s most important policies kind of stinks in my mind.