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Finally surrendering the plates for destruction at the DMV and canceling my auto insurance made it hit home to me. This really is the end. Those were my plates for 22 years, now just a memory. I am so defensive about my decision to retire Big Red, as from an economic standpoint it’s completely irrational – it’s a nice truck and everybody is asking about it – but I felt this was the time to retire it.

Maybe because I’m unsure of what is next.

I mean at one level it’s obvious, take the bus and bike to work. Test drive a truck or two in February, start scouring the listings and websites come March. I should replace it but like any lost love one that’s easier said than done. Maybe I’ll be happier to a new Ford SuperDuty but I don’t know it won’t be lifted. And I don’t know if I even want a lifted truck at this point. But it’s so much money even if I do pay cash though all new trucks are expensive. It’s not like I haven’t made good money in the markets and my career is progressing well I can retire in probably quite young compared to most.

I keep reminding myself that time is on my side. But I have a lot of angst about the cost of a Ford SuperDuty truck, probably because I spend so much time studying finance and investing – and the frugal lifestyle – which everybody says by the 20-year old Honda Civic and the Plastic (coated) House. I do despise vinyl siding and asphalt roofs. And color television, and weekly garbage service. But despite all the fascinating shapes plastic makes when you toss it in the fire stoned out of your brain, it really stinks when some of it burns. And I don’t want to undermine my future homestead by buying a big truck now, though honestly I make good money, and my investments have grown significantly over the past decade and half and in comparison, a SuperDuty truck which will last most likely 10-15 years before needing to be discarded really is a pissy amount on a yearly basis. But I still have a lot of angst about it.