For the longest time, since the implement of the burn ban in 2009, I have seriously thought about leaving New York State. I’ve watched in frustration as do-gooders continue to lock down our public lands in the name of wilderness preservation, demanding more restrictions on our gun rights from the SAFE Act to SAFE Act 2.0 that made it illegal to purchase ammunition without a background check, or even a simple .22 “semi-auto” rifle for hunting squirrels without a pistol permit like I bought before SAFE Act 2.0 for $150 a few years back. Or the games people and towns go through to register and ride ATVs on private trail systems, because state politics is forever hijacked by the environmentalists. Or how well-meaning, but the still problematic drive to decarbonize the state is leading to thousands of acres of farmland and open space to be developed, at the same time electricity prices continue their spiral upwards.

My complaints about the state are well known to anybody who regularly reads the blog. They are pretty obvious to anybody who lives in Upstate, especially in rural areas. It’s not hard to see who often gets the raw end of the stick in New York, when more then 2 out of 3 New Yorkers live in the metropolitan region, where the state’s liberal policies may be idealistic but come back to bite those who don’t live in the city or suburbs. It kind of sucks to live in Upstate New York. But at least for me, it’s a Faustian bargain. Or as Dan Halloran said to then-Senate Democratic Leader Malcolm Smith, when he tried to buy a spot on NYC Mayor’s ballot — “It’s All About the F-ing Money.”

That’s how I’ve felt about New York for many years. I stay because I make pretty good money, especially nowadays. Maybe I feel like I’m still a bit underpaid, but I do make good money. To leave New York would be to leave my job and leave the money behind. And nowadays, as the Data Services Director, I would not only be leaving behind the money, but a job that I actually really kind of like that challenges my mind, involves working with code and scripting, and being able to work with smart programmers and computer system administrators. I get paid to write SQL queries, export databases, clean data and work with a great team. It’s the kind of career of wanted for a long time, but didn’t have an easy way to transition into, as my college degree was in Political Science, as I found the advanced theoretical math required for Computer Science to be difficult. Plus I’ve always had these anti-technology bent, in part learning how toxic these devices we call computers are both from the hazardous materials they are made out of and how they warp our brains and our politics.

At this point it’s just too hard to walk away. I told myself for years I’ll move out of state the first possible minute that I can reasonably afford to — be it once I have enough money saved up, once my parents pass away, or once I retire. The date just kept getting pushed further and further into the future. And while the news headlines about what state government was doing to make the lives of Upstate New Yorkers worse and worse really grinds at me, one of the best way to avoid it, is to just turn it off. Don’t follow the news very carefully. Most of the most objectionable things that the do-gooders are trying to force our throats, are actually quite unpopular and as such aren’t vigorously enforced despite the stern warnings of the politicians. Watch what is happening in reality, on the ground by real people, and not what the media and politicians are saying.

I am quite fortunate to have a great career, good pay, and a life that has been fun over the past 17 years since I graduated from college. I have enjoyed the travel, camping, hiking, spending time in the woods and having fires. And as much as I have romantic visions of moving to a rural, free state like Missouri, South Dakota, Idaho, or West Virginia, the truth is things aren’t all wine and roses there either. Nearly every state has bad laws, stupid politicians who egos trample on your freedoms. And the Faustian bargain is real — no place I could move would have the career opportunity or make the money that I am currently making. It’s not like I object to my work, I’ve had the chance to work with many great clients over the years, and even when I don’t agree on all issues, I do agree with them on many things, and New York has excellent consumer protections and those for renters. After all, I am a liberal Democrat, maybe of a wilder breed. And it’s not like we shouldn’t be doing something to address to climate crisis, even if I think some of state’s actions by the urban politicians are a bit misguided.

Faust in the bible made the mistake of not only selling his soul for twenty-four years of supreme knowledge, but squandering his gift. Faust didn’t maximize his gift, use it for good though he sold his soul to get it. I have been a careful steward of money over the years, living frugally and carefully saving and investing for a better tomorrow — namely that off-grid cabin that I wanted in a free state. While I am realizing that the second half of the dream may not be possible if I want to keep up that part of the Faustian bargain, it’s not necessarily to say much of the first half of the dream isn’t possible to largely make into a reality, duly noting the constraints of state building code, the various laws as implemented as rules in reality, and the long unpleasant commute that will involve to get far enough away from cities for at least some freedom. The thing is I could wait and save even more — but cost of land and building is no longer the major constraint — but number of years I can practically expect in my second half of my life. Old age, time, is cruelest joke as you get deeper into your forties.

I don’t like all the compromises, but maybe it’s a way to live with myself, and a live a life closer to what I want without walking away from the money.