Truth is that I shouldn’t feel this way about the day that was ðïļ
I’m avoiding heading back to camp because I don’t want to deal with having neighbors nearby even though I told them it’s fine to camp there. I should go over and spark up a conversation with them to learn something new and because it’s good practice to meet new people. Ask questions don’t speak so much. It’s just so hot and humid and I don’t want to spend all night drinking and stoned.
It was hot and I didn’t really love the pool thought reading one of Temple Grandins books on livestock handling and listening more to an audio book in one of the Adirondack Chairs they now have was nice. Really bummed out about the non car show, I wish I had spent more time floating in the Schoharie Creek. Maybe tomorrow, depends on the weather. Pool swimming with the chemicals is kind of gross, I really prefer floating on the tube in the Schoharie Creek.
Landlord emailed me, he’s replacing my windows. Hopefully on days when I’m not home. I didn’t think the upstairs windows were bad or drafty but it’s his building. Rent goes up too much or I get evicted, I can find somewhere else to live. At this point it’s silly to worry about him discovering what a dump my unit is, I’m sure he’s aware when he bought the building. I should clean it up a bit before vacation but honestly I don’t care. I could have something much nicer if I wanted, something I own don’t rent. Closer to work now that the express bus is done.
After my truck or maybe before it my housing situation is what I find most alarming. I could afford something newer than a 14 year now kind of beat up pickup or more than $800 a month rent. Or camping on some remote dirt road rather than staying in a fancy motel, campground or cabin. But it’s the life I choose. There are many less fortunate then me but I don’t like the professional ass wipe services that most people have. I hate all the trash, the fake luxury and comfort. I like dirt, my freedom and doing it myself with basic stuff.
Not hot but ugly humid ð°
I think I’ll skip hiking Vromans Nose today. Instead I’m heading to Shauls Farm Stand next then I’ll inflate the tube, try floating first at the parking area and then closer to Max Shauls before heading up to Mine Kill for the car show which apparently starts at 1 PM. Then pool swimming and back to camp around six o’clock.
Got neighbors? ðïļ
I guess Betty Brook has become more popular probably because of my two decades of photographing and making videos about it on the interweb. The upper site along Betty Brook was taken, so I took the lower site but another family came by and asked if they could share my site. Fine, whatever. I didn’t have anything real stinky to burn last night, kept the music and audio book down and hung up a tarp for privacy with the shitter bucket. Nobody wants to see my balls or my fat ass as I poop and pee in the bucket. They’re not even up yet.
This morning around nine I’ll get camp squared away and locked up, ðïļ then I’ll drive over to Looking Glass Pond for some wildlife observation, ðĶ then down to Shauls for produce. ð― I guess if it’s not too hot I could do a quick hike up Vromans Nose. Then I want to inflate the tube â and float in the Schoharie Creek by the swimming hole by Max Shaul Campground. At first it was cloudy and to the south the sky was dark ð§ïļ with a few rain drops ð§ but as the sun rose over the deep valley it has gotten sunnier. The sun is nice. âïļ Humid this morning, it was smokey driving out, probably wildfire smoke hanging low over the hills.
I believe there is a car show ðïļ at Mine Kill to check out in the afternoon and swim. ð Plus the wildflowers ðž are always nice in the Bluebird fields at the Power Project. Then listening to an audio book and hopping in the pool. I should practice my swimming strokes as I’ll need to be a good swimmer before the days at the Watkins Glen pool and Enfield Glen. ðïļ
I’m not bothered by the neighbors ðĻâðĻâðĶ, I’ll have to strike up a conversation this afternoon once I’m back from swimming and I’m not totally stoned or drunk ðŧ like I was last night. I need to cut back on my drinking up at camp as it’s going to make me fat but whatever it’s summer and the first half I spent so much of it at home without drinking. Between the weather, my truck and my extreme anxiety and confusion over everything it’s been a werid summer in many ways. ðĪŠ But then again we live in such werid times in the era of the Trumpster and celebration of plastic which can be pretty stinky when you burn it. But I had a fire last weekend so there wasn’t a lot of garbage to get rid of. ðĨ
Two more days of Dragging the Line and running shell ð scripts and building data frames ðĨïļ and then it’s off to the Finger Lakes National Forest through Labor Day. I did visit Northern Lights asked the bud tender for recommendations on grass ðĶ and got a pre-roll but I’m still using up the last of that Dank Diesel I got last November that admittedly is moldy mush crap at this point that mostly makes me hungry. ð I don’t know if I’m going to break open the new stuff until summer vacation at this point but I also look forward to exploring the options for grass in Ithaca. With 13 days for this year’s summer vacation I plan to set up camp ðïļ on Wednesday and just have days built in to hang out, listen to audio books or read ð, fish, ðĢ ride trail, ðē float â and not worry about he risk of driving under the influence of weed or alcohol. I do need to renew my fishing license, remember to pack my tackle box and maybe get a new rod. Fun times, I just want to be relaxed and enjoy the colors ð and the wildflowers and the Grateful Dead.
It was a nice drive out here. ðĒ Only a bit over an hour, I left the office at around 5:10 and had camp set up starting around 6:20. One thing nice about the suburban office is it’s quick on and off the freeway and the acres of parking ð ŋïļ are nearby. Traffic was mostly free flowing and I got off at the NY 10 Richmondville exit and went straight up to past the now long closed Camp Summit and then to camp. Like all of the now abandoned prison, the state just kind of abandoned the essentially unsellable buildings and they sit abandoned until the state finds the money to smash them down and haul their contents to the local construction and demolition debris landfill. ðïļ
It was a nice drive, Red ðŧ is running good now that I got over my fear ðą of every little noise. I topped off the oil and coolant in the truck, ðĒïļ none of them were excessively low but I figured do it before vacation. I think Red will probably make it through vacation fine if I keep my mind in the right place, though I still want to retire him next year. I get that cars are expensive and not an asset but they’re also the best way to escape the city. I’ve never considered an automobile having any value besides the pleasure it delivers. Sometimes you just got to enjoy life and not be so caught up at being woke. Be a stoned gonzo watching the flicker of the fire ðĨ, listening to the cows chew their cud ðŪ. Betty Brook Road is rough but it always is and like everybody who drives it I go slow not to abuse Red’s suspension too much.
I got a flash card for my camera ðļ as the old ones were wearing out ðū and after ten or 15 years were no longer reliable. It was $7. My cellphone camera is fine but the telephoto and color is much better on the point and shoot camera. And this is the time for taking very colorful pictures and summer won’t be with us much longer and the colors will fade to gray before you know it. Then I use the card reader on my phone then upload them to the interwebs via my blog. Looks like this month will be a $200 blog revenue month. ðĩ Not getting rich but that’s far more then I’ve spent on overpriced grass this past year. Not bad for a blog that smells like cow shit and burning barrel where I post random photos and maps ðšïļ and dream about owning an off grid cabin with hogs while stoned in the wilderness. ð
It’s all in my head ð§
One of the most liberating things is to realize that anxiety and mental illness more generally is not real – it’s all in your imagination. Now all the doctors, medication companies and drug dealers don’t want you to hear this – but if it’s not real it doesn’t matter. Anxiety and delusions aren’t real, they are something contrived in your mind based on focusing on things that may exist in this world but have a much lesser of an importance then you want to subscribe to them.
One of the worse things to say to somebody who is anxious is that their thoughts matter. If it’s bothering you then its a problem. Not it’s not. It’s only a problem because you, yourself is making it a problem. Literally, all you need to do is laugh a bit, find something else to interest your troubled mind. Mental illness is not real, it’s merely a construct and a label that imprisons one’s mind when one adopts the label.