Growing Older

NPR

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Your everyday rituals do impact your life — just not how you might expect : NPR

From wearing a lucky pair of socks, to following family traditions, rituals are embedded in our everyday lives.

Dimitris Xygalatas is an anthropologist and scientist at The University of Connecticut, and recently wrote Ritual: How Seemingly Senseless Acts Make Life Worth Living.

In his book, he explores our relationships with rituals, big and small, and the social, physical, and economic impacts they have on our lives.

"Rituals are central to virtually all of our social institutions. Think of a judge waving a gavel or a new president taking an oath of office," he writes. "They are held by militaries, governments and corporations, in initiation ceremonies, parades, and costly displays of commitment. They are used by athletes who always wear the same socks in important games, and by gamblers who kiss the dice or cling on to lucky charms when the stakes are high."

🍂 It’s September 🍂

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Dark before eight, the smell of corn silage in the air as the harvest moon rises. Labor Day Weekend and summer vacation is but a memory.

I often feel like the past summer was unfulfilling, lacking significant memories except for the trip to Pittstown Forest. With high gas prices and my aging truck, I reduced my outings. Work has been busy, and the tempting offer of the free Nature Bus to Thacher Park, offering a day for hiking and exploration, became hard to resist due to its flexible schedule. I’ve become such a frequent rider that people might assume I don’t even own a car, despite the fact that I can afford gas; my income exceeds that of three out of four Americans.
Simultaneously, I find myself increasingly pondering my future. What seemed clear a few years ago has become more uncertain as the future approaches. While I’m advancing in my career, I’m also saving and investing wisely while living frugally. It’s still surreal to acknowledge my title as Deputy Director and appreciate my spacious office. Even stranger is seeing my name and title listed online and in the agency phone book. In just over a month, I’ll mark 15 years with my company, not a lifetime but still a substantial amount of time. Looking ahead, twenty years doesn’t feel so distant. Although I might have reservations about certain aspects of my work, the financial progress I’m making towards a better future is undeniable.
Simultaneously, I’ve been immersing myself in YouTube lectures on the topic of “Finding Purpose in Life.” There’s no shortage of motivational speakers out there. Time seems to be slipping away rapidly, seasons passing by quickly and feeling insignificant. On one hand, I wish time would speed up to bolster my investments and savings, but on the other hand, I’m reminded of the things I’ve lost to the passage of time. The passing of my first-grade teacher, Ms. Holockey, from 32 years ago saddened me. She lived a long life, having been in her sixties when she taught me in the elementary school basement.
My dream of owning land in a state that upholds my second amendment rights is still alive. I envision a place that balances conservation and responsible use of farmland and forests, free from what I perceive as overzealous environmentalism. A place where I can have controlled fires, exercise my right to bear arms without stringent permits, ride ATVs, and raise livestock. Pigs, goats, chickens, even cattle. The allure of a simple life in off-grid cabins and tiny homes remains strong. No television or wired internet—much like my current lifestyle but in a rural setting. I’m saving towards this future and diligently studying real estate listings. Perhaps soon, I’ll journey to a location like the Ozarks to explore the possibilities. However, I sometimes find homesteading groups and YouTube channels overly idealistic.
It’s as if I’m certain about my aspirations, armed with financial targets and a plan for the 2030s. I continue to excel at work, investing extra time and money, while cutting unnecessary expenses. Dreaming is undeniably more enjoyable than dealing with the realities of farming—like shoveling manure or managing waste. I’m conscious that farm life is tough and demanding, not the same as the chores I did as a child. While I appreciate meat, butchering is a challenging and messy task. However, by doing it at home, I can avoid contributing to landfills or releasing toxic fumes from burning packaging. I sometimes envy those who lead genuine homesteading lives, dealing with the mud, maintaining trailers and sheds, and fashioning makeshift solar setups.
Tomorrow’s certainty is uncertain. Yet, dreams are free, and the foundation we build today opens doors for the future. The things we buy today are fleeting, but dreams endure, and investments grow. Amidst the changes in the world and the fading of the past, I hold onto hope and a strong chance of a better tomorrow. While I’m disheartened by the shifts happening around us, I acknowledge the potential for positive change.

 

Last summer of my thirties

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Last summer of my thirties

A Summer Scene

It seemed like just yesterday that I was listening to John Denver singing about the “He was born in summer of his 27th year, coming home to a place he had never been before.”

How fast time comes and goes. In a few short weeks – well, January – I’ll be starring down the barrel of my forties. As Denver sung, “The days past so quickly now, the nights are seldom long, time whispers when it’s cold, changes have to frighten me but I have smile.”

In some ways its been a tough summer with inflation, high gas prices and my truck getting increasingly creaky and worrisome as it traverses these back roads. Work just gets more and more demanding, even while I make good money. Getting drunk ain’t the same fun these days and there are fewer and fewer really neat, unique new places to explore nearby. The exciting ever expanding world of my late twenties seems farther and farther away.

While I’m sure my forties will be exciting and adventure filled I both approach them with fear and joy. It’s the decade when I will probably get closer to my maximum earning potential, where steps continue to exist but won’t nearly be as significant. I will probably buy land or maybe take over my parents homestead. I’ll settle down and have fewer weeks in the wilderness with land and a home to take care of. I might move out west, and I will likely loose my parents to old age.

I am sure for probably at least a few more years in my forties I’ll get away to the Adirondack wilderness and West Virginia. But even that may end at some point as other life priorities advance. Maybe I’ll give up owning a car in favor of a new more urban way of living. Or maybe I’ll have land and hogs to feed, water to haul and wood to chop. Maybe the off-grid home will become a reality. Only time will tell.

This line concluded the notice from my investment firm

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This line concluded the notice from my investment firm. Seems like good advice for all of life, and not just investing.

“… Avoid the trap of doing something. Locking in losses usually means missing the ensuing gains, too.  Stay focused on your goals, maintain your disciplined approach, and enjoy the long-term benefits of a diversified portfolio.”

Living for today 🔮

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Living for today 🔮

You know I often have a running debate in my mind about living for today versus my focus on the future. I still often feel poor and vulnerable to inflation because I spend so much of my money saving and investing for a better tomorrow.

The truth is that I don’t like spending money on today, as a dollar spent now is not available tomorrow. A wasted opportunity to grow in the market, gain dividends and interest. What is today is fleeting and quickly gone – something bought at the store is quickly eaten, material things used up, worn out and discarded. Memories of trips gone by are fine but nothing is as inspiring as a dream of a better tomorrow.

Now I get that tomorrow is not guaranteed. An opportunity not taken today might be forever passed by. I’m getting older every day, doors forever closed. But ultimately reminencing is fine but dreams get me high. Even if I never achieve my dreams, things passed up today in the hope of saving for a better tomorrow. A lot of pleasure is not derived from implementing a dream but working towards it, one buck at a time.

It just gets harder every day 😩

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It just gets harder every day 😩

Every day, I just feel like everything is getting older, falling apart, wearing out. The incident last week were my trash can lid blew off again in the windy stormy weather on Tuesday, got hit for a third or forth time, and this time really damaged, was such a set back in my life. It sounds silly, but it really was pretty bad, with so much things weighting me down. I really need to take some broken things that are garbage and bottles and cans to recycling center. As they say, you can’t burn everything.

On paper, things I doing well in my life, I finally have that mid-level executive position with a good paycheck. I have a corner office, the nice wooden desk with a brass lamp. Often the investigations we do and I coordinate with staff are quite interesting, often challenging but interesting at the same time. I make pretty good money, even though most of the money lately seems to go towards tax and paying the rent, that is after I try to put a little away for a better tomorrow.

I have a vision and a hope for a better tomorrow. Every time I save with each paycheck, I know I am coming closer to that dream, but I have increasing concerns that I might not be reachable. Not for a lack of money, although it is hard to grow savings lately with the interest rate so low, and the markets in the crapper. But because maybe it never was a realistic option in the first place. Time goes by, money grows, that’s all the ever seems to change in my life. My apartment is cold and miserable. The buses are still the same, the winters long and harsh.

Someday, I know I will own my own land. If I can only get there. But money grows so slowly, while expenses on everything else grows quickly. Having more money at work hasn’t made life better or me happier, but it has somewhat increased the rate at which I’ve been able to save and invest. Yet, it still seems like the dream of the homestead, living off-grid, out in the country, remains so far away. It just seems like I am still stuck here in Delmar, in my cold apartment, riding the bus back and forth to work.

Like clockwork, the seasons will change, I’ll be able to once again sleep with the windows open. I’ll be able to regularly get out of town, have fires up in the woods. Pass the time, maybe without much meaning. Get closer to that dream, a world of cowboys and cabins, homesteaders and off-griders that I watch on Youtube, although not as much as I once did as the dream fades. Places where you can own whatever guns you want, shoot them, have fires and burn whatever you want. The west is still a lot more wild then back east.

Who knows what next year brings. I’m completely horrified that I will be 40 next year. Yes, I’ve worked hard to get where I am professionally, but who knows what that will bring. I don’t even know if my job will last that long — although I work hard, produce good results, and know if I apply myself, there will be other opportunities available. And maybe if I do move to a different career, it will be a chance to move somewhat else, build the life I actually want. Saving and investing money is fine, but money is just a number unless you turn it into land, a tractor, chain saw, or a manure spreader.