Campfire
Nice roaring campfire at night in the wilderness of the Allegheny National Fores.t
Tuesday October 8, 2019 — Allegheny National Forest
The Science & Treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) | Huberman Lab Podcast #78
I got listening to Andrew Huberman originally because I was interested in his analysis of marijuana - both what it does to one's mind and the pros and cons of smoking pot. But I'm also really interested in OCD because I still to this day think to much about burn barrels and rednecks burning trash, and being juts a general pyro. I tried the mental health treatment thing, but I'm more just concerned now about enjoying life even if I make some black smoke occassionally that the govenrment might not approve of. Lol!
The Five Mile Gap in Future Interstate 86
Hale Eddy, where Sullivan County Route 4, Lower Hale Eddy Road, Silver Lake Road and Roods Creek Road cross NY 17 at Grade with stop lights and sto signs.
Big Red’s final big trip 🛻
That’s not totally true in the sense I have a work trip to do later in the month and I’m planning probably Veterans Day Weekend to head out to Stoney Pond State Forest or maybe Long Pond State Forest but it’s the last week long trip I’m planning for him.
Of course, it wasn’t a confidence boost to be at Walmart today and seeing another GMT 800 💥 a broke control arm or upper ball joint and the wheel broken off. Hopefully that’s not foreshadowing anything, as I had Red checked out a few months ago and it’s getting inspected in December, but it’s another reminder that I should be glad I’m trying to have a planned retirement for my truck. People say, but that’s a waste of money, but it’s been a good 14 years. I still can’t believe I bought that truck 14 years ago. I really want to be retired from my job in another 14 years, and I want a reliable vehicle to do a least a little more travel before I settle down. 🏡 I’m not saying I have to give up everything to own a home and land, but when you got goats and other livestock too feed, you’re much less able to travel – literally disappear into the wilderness of a week.
Traffic was heavy driving home this evening, Walmart was crowded. 🛒 Got to the check out line and realized I didn’t get Cider Vinger. Walmart should have that in the morning. The bank I normally go to remains closed, that’s the one that has the video lottery terminal or whatever they call the machine that prints out $1 and $5. I guess I have enough cash, but if I want to get weed tomorrow I should get another $20. Maybe before work when I go to get my propane tank filled. And cider vinger to mix in my water 🍏 for that bitter taste I love.
I’m actually ready to go. 🛠️ Even packed the gear puller and extra spokes, and got an extra tire and lantern manttles 🏮 should any of those things go bad. I have the kayak on the roof o my truck. Hell of it is, we are now watching a Nor-Easter roar up the coast 🌀 though it looks like it won’t be cold enough for snow 🌨️ up north and might mostly hug the coast. After being so freaking dry, it actually looks the week will be cold, cloudy. damp and maybe even wet. Whatever, I’m not so far away that if it is totally miserable I can’t come back home. At least the fire danger 🔥 is low enough that on the cold chilly nights I can have a small fire at night and don’t have to worry about sparks from camp stove or a lantern starting a fire. I won’t have any fires though unless it’s very dark out so I can keep an eye on fire brands at least when it’s not raining out. I’ll have the propane tank filled in the morning so I don’t run out if end up using it a lot.
While life has been busy, it’s been a quiet week at work. 🤫 People are like – you’re already taking another week long vacation? Didn’t you just take one the second half of the August? Yes, but this is the second trip of the year, and usually I take my summer vacation in late July, not August, and because of work obligations, I didn’t take any time off during most of July or August. There is some slow burning fuses happening at work, 💣 one of our legacy systems, but there is nothing to fix at it right now, and the technicians know about it, and it can either wait until I’m back from vacation or others can address it.
And I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with contact lens of glasses 👓 anymore up at camp. No worries about dirty hands and infected eyes, no reaching around for glasses when things go bang at night, no fogged over glasses first thing in the morning. Just crystal clear vision, day and night. I’ll bring my sunglasses and probably wear them while riding just to be safe, though some days I’ve ridden without the protective glasses as my eyes 👀 have pretty much healed, two weeks out since the surgery.
You suffer from amotivational syndrome 🏡
I talked to banks about getting a mortgage and started down the road for pre-approval. I talked to my friend who has the 10 acre old homestead in Greenville, how he got there. I looked at several houses, toured one in June asked questions about one to a realtor. I read books about buying a house and building your own. The houses and properties I actually liked where much too far from work. Many had other issues, some would have been a cash purchase and needed to be built from the ground up, prefab or otherwise. Most much where too large.
The banks were happy to steer me towards a conventional 30 year mortgage for $2,000 a month. It would finance up to $275k to $300k, probably more house then I would need and want but actually not an unrealistic budget when a lot of ready to move into, nicely maintained but older houses are in the quarter of a million range. Of course, most that the banks really like are your very typical and boring house in suburbia. And I would be paying that through my 72nd birthday, assuming that I didn’t refinance and didn’t pay it off early.
It’s really hard to find a house under 750 square feet. Some people are like don’t you want to heat and clean an extra room or two as a home office? Plus storage for tons of crap you’ll most certainly secure as a homeowner. No not really. Honestly, I thought that 700 sq ft house I toured was bigger than I liked. Plus it had a dirty old oil burner and no wood stove. Plus I guess running water, flush toilets and an indoor shower are great in the winter and for reasons of convenience but it just seems like a lot of crap to break.
What I really want is the simple, small hunting style cabin that is common in the Adirondacks or the more remote parts of Pennsylvania. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have some solar panels, gravity sink and hand pump, outhouse and outdoor heated shower. Propane range for cooking. I get such living is harder than the current suburbia way of living but I despise the shinny trash everything every other week and replace of suburbia with the shiny and new.
I could have looked harder this summer gone by, had I not spent so much time up in the woods, reading, smoking pot, riding my mountain bike, floating in the tube and finding distraction in my kind. I could have moved Zillow back on my phone as soon as I killed my phone and aggressively persued every listing I could find that sort of made sense to me. But I did not, preferring to spend as much of my summer up in the wilderness, high as a kite while I kept sending my landlord $800 checks as he hammers and grinds along the unit next door as a gentle reminder that time is not long for my current moldy apartment.
I mean this summer is not unlike other summers. Big Red brought me to the wilderness for many nice nights though the cannabis and the Grateful Dead records were a friendly addition. Maybe it was much too ordinary of a summer with a little extra sparkles. But if I had been a little more aggressive I could have my own land at this point, be growing my own cannabis and having livestock, or at least clearly leading to that point. And I’m now a full director in my office, this should mean I should have moved out of just out of college apartment.
Truth is that I’ve not found what is right for me. I’m not going to waste my money on a big house in the suburbs that I despise and don’t care about. A house might be a good decision if you care about the building and where you live, but I don’t want some place out in the suburbs with vinyl siding and carpeting that I don’t give a rats ass about and wouldn’t care if the roof collapses or the building burns to the ground. A house is not a good investment if you don’t care about it and would be just as happy with it not long in the world.
