When I finally get myself together I’m going to get down in that sunny southern weather And I’ll find a place inside to laugh Separate the wheat from the chaff I feel like I owe it To someone, yeah
– David Crosby, Almost Cut My Hair
When you fall off the horse, 🐴 you got to climb back on move forward. I really need to try to get away this weekend and enjoy it, and try to escape the cycle of paranoia, delusions and anxiety. 🧠 It actually looks like a nice weekend, while things are unlikely to be perfect, summer is rapidly fading away 🏊 and I’d like to get out to Mine Kill to swim at least once before the summer is done. And if I can make it through this weekend, I am going to be much better shape for summer vacation starting on around August 20. Loosing a lot of daylight in evening, 🌇 but I want to wait to until race weekend is over before heading to Watkins Glen. 🏎️ Still thinking of leaving early on Saturday morning, and starting out the day hiking back to Diamond Notch Falls.
Lately I just feel so sick 🤮 especially in the morning. I am exhausted, achy and just sensetive to everything that seems to be chewing at my brain 🧠 like mice chew on wires. 🚲 I ride my bike into work and that the exercise helps, though yesterday I was freaking out about what sounded like a death creak to the bike. I think it was due to the heat and lack of lubrication on one of those peddles. Stopped at Hannaford at the way home, got frozen blueberries, fresh bananas, milk and onions and made it home. 🍌 Milk didn’t spoil on the ride home nor due the blueberries all melt, despite the heat. 😰 After dinner and greasing things up on the bike, I rode out to Five Rivers with no unusual noises, and read more of Back to Basics, finishing up several chapters on alternative building techniques for a homestead. 🐐 Already the days are getting so much shorter, but once the sun set it was so much cooler, and the ride home last night was so delightful.
It seems like lately things have been so noisy with cars roaring back and forth, 🚨 sirens, trash cans being slammed, motorcycles as I get up every morning. 👂 I don’t if it’s my all in my head but things lately have gotten so much more noisy in the mornings around here. Maybe it’s the stress. I’ve considered seeing if I can go back and visit with my Licensed Mental Health Counselor, it’s been a few years since I’ve been meaning to reschedule that appointment, 🧑⚕️ but I was so ticked off how much he dismissed my use of the word redneck or how he seemed to view my dreams of building that off-grid homestead as either being quite alarming, or in his mind, okay if it’s just a few woke solar panels ☀️ on a suburban ranch home covered with plastic. Damn it, I’m not talking about living under a bridge or a vinyl suburban house with woke solar. I get where he’s coming in saying I should rachet down my thoughts about burn barrels and freedom to burn shit, they’re kind of silly when his other government clients for County Probation Office are murders and rapists. Oh, so you want to live out in country, have hogs, cows and burn your trash? 🐽 🔥 You’re just a fire-bug hillibilly not a terrible rapist. That said It would be good, as most of the problems on my aged truck are in my head. I do have regular yearly doctor physical next Wednesday at 9 AM.
I think I am going to see if I can order one of those Big Red Bottle Jack pumps that Tractor Supply sells 🚜 but is like cheaper on Amazon. While I don’t necessarily need to lift ten tons, that size has the maximum extension ability which means I can easily lift the truck for tire changes, even if I don’t need that much weight. Figure it’s a tool I can use for many purposes even after Big Red is retired next year. I want to make sure I have an emergency jack before I head out to woods. 🛻 I was looking at Big Red and I’m going to miss him when his retirement comes, but I’m also seeing his age, the fact that the lift kit installer is no longer around locally, and the alternative shop that does repairs on those parts as being not regularly avaliable as reasons to look at his replacement. It’s fine. It will be like those many people who regret junking their worn out 1960s Mustangs and GTOs in the mid seventies as the fuel crisis was all around and the cars were beat regardless. ⛽ I want to pretend that getting a new truck next year all things will be perfect, but even new models creak and grone, have stupid things like stone damage from flying gravel and are a magnet for every other driver to slam into on the highway. 💥 But the trip to Northern Michigan next year will be great, that’s really what I care about. Something new and different to explore. I am so tired of always seeing the same places, year after year. 📸
