Happy June! 🏳️‍🌈🐮🌼

Can you believe it’s already June? I am looking forward to a nice day up at Thacher Park riding my mountain bike, relaxing the hammock, exploring. And maybe in the evening I’ll head out for a quick overnight with the hammock, though that’s to be decided.

Hey, I was sure at this point the landlord would be working on the unit next door. 🚪 You know with all the heavy construction equipment parked outside, grinding and banging away. Apparently not, it’s very random when he’s working on the unit and when he’s not. I get some of it is Mr. Preska’s schedule with the farm and the weather, but it seems like it’s the forever project. I just don’t like how I get blocked in. And I’m still not interested in moving into that unit next door with the big rent hike of $1,100 a month. I do think if I have to move, I’ll look at the closer to Menands so it’s a short bike ride or walk to work. It’s kind of a pain transferring to shuttle bus on rainy and snowy days, and I don’t really love the idea of driving to work. 🚘

Last night I rode over to Peebles Island 🏝 and hiked around the parameter trail. Between riding to work, running errands at lunch time and heading to Peebles Island and back home rode 🚲 some forty odd miles yesterday. That was really quite the ride. Today at Thacher Park plan to do a fair amount more riding and exploring. ☀ Looks like a beautiful day. I wish I had planned a family 👪 trip for today. Time isn’t that much longer with my parents so I should enjoy it while I still can.

Finally returning that overdue library book to the library this morning, 📚 then it’s off to catching the Nature Bus to Thacher Park 🚍 on this most beautiful morning. Not a cloud in the sky this morning, though more are expected later. Then 8 hours of bliss to do whatever I want, though I could always catch an earlier bus home or ride my bike home from Thacher Park. That was a lot of fun the last time I did that so I’ll probably do it again today, lol. 😂

Not sure exactly what my plans are at Thacher Park 🏞 besides up to eight hours of bliss. Got my 10 books 📚 from Hoopla for the month of May rounding out the quota at ten o’clock last night. So lots of reading 📖. Then maybe head up to Thompsons Lake and some of the overlooks and then maybe ride back home. 🚲 The New Salem Hill is a blast on the bicycle, I hit 35 mph riding down it last year. I might go out hammock camping 🏕 this evening depending on how late I get home. I always like a good fire 🔥 and black flies aren’t so bad locally.

Things are better now, can’t you see? 👨🏻‍🏫

Trials never end, of course. Unhappiness and misfortune are bound to occur as long as people live, but there is a feeling now, that was not here before, and is not just on the surface of things, but penetrates all the way through: We’ve won it. It’s going to get better now. You can sort of tell these things.” – Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert M. Pirsig

A long time and insider I ran into the other day at the legislative building when I mentioned I’m now the Director of Data Services, she replied back, that’s pretty noteworthy, not many people make it to become a unit director. There simply aren’t that many openings. I kind of viewed it as silly little position with a big title but not much more they that. Even the hundred thousand dollars a year doesn’t seem like much with inflation, nor does overseeing two divisions of employees – word processors and data service staff totalling six people with a half million dollar budget. I get it, I’m not that governor of the state, overseeing a budget of $250 billion and a population of 20 million.

I know I’m damn good at my job, I know my way around the Unix text utilities and SQL to get things done quickly and with a knowledge of the R statistical language and other programming concepts. I know GIS and map making, I can parse and total data in ways others find amazing. But I don’t know all the answers and I’m not a developer or database administrator. I still have to often go hand in hat to the OADP unit that oversees the technical side of things. I wish I knew more but I didn’t get those advanced skillsor training in college.

I know I have earned it. If you told me I would be going on 17 years with the New York Assembly I would have found that hard to believe on what seemed like just yesterday when I was in college. The endless long nights sleeping under my desk, crunching numbers at 3 am, staying in motel rooms and people’s basements on campaign. The sometimes holding my nose and just getting the work done regardless how I personally felt about. I’ve learned much, become far more professional but it sure doesn’t feel that way at times. I’m 41 not 24 anymore, my hair is graying but I don’t feel like some of those mature adults you see and know.

Maybe I’m bragging but it doesn’t eliminate the insecurity I feel, how I’m not sure if I earned what I have. Or if what I do is important or if my salary is enough. I realize no matter your level of success you’ll always be comparing yourself to those a few steps above you, those living a life you dream of but can’t yet live out in the country.