1) Debt is evil, don’t make it.
If you can’t afford to buy something with cash, you can’t afford it. Your poor. Be a grown up and accept that fact.

2) Live in poverty.
It’s always bad to have money in your bank account, because it doesn’t earn much interest and means it will get spent on things that you’ll spend later to get rid of at the landfill. I rarely have more then a $1,000 in the bank, because I’d rather live paycheck-to-paycheck, knowing that every time I look at my bank account I can’t afford to buy junk. Lock the rest of the money up in investments and savings accounts, the later that offers more flexibility during emergencies and for buying bigger purchases after a few years.

3) Remember 90% of things you buy are going to either become poop or smell like burnt plastic in the burn barrel within 2 weeks of buying it.
While we all like playing with fire, watching things melt, and colorful flames, buying things to set on fire is a waste of money. So in other words, don’t buy it.

4) Do antagonize over $20 purchases.
Little things add up quickly. Do you really need it? Anything that is non-essential should not be purchased — even if you like watching plastic melt and burn.

5) Don’t take a raise — or at least the majority of a raise.
Rather then taking a raise, use automatic deposits to savings accounts, 401ks, IRAs, or any other vehicle that defers the money to make raise never appear in your bank account rather then take it and spend it.

6) Always look for lower-cost ways of doing things.
Does the government offer the service for free or low-cost? Public libraries, public transportation, and public forest lands are free (or low cost) for your use and enjoyment.

7) Try to save more then you spend each week.
If you take home $1,300 then invest $700 of that check a wide variety of ways. It’s okay to withdraw money every few years for a big purchase, but at least you’ll be getting a better deal then most by buying it with money that has earned compounded interest rather then paying finance charges.

8) Sales are horseshit.
Buying things on sale usually is a bad way to save money on the purchase, unless you’ve been deferring a necessary purchase for a number of months.

9) Celebrate when the stock market goes down.
It means you can buy more stock for less money. Stock paper is just that — it has no value until you it cash it in. You shouldn’t give a rats ass about the stock market going down — except to look forward to the deals you are going to get. You shouldn’t be buying stock paper unless it’s for long-term goals, that can be sold when the market is booming.

10) Cheap, diverse investments are better then expensive ones.
Self-investing in boring, uninteresting broad-based funds are better. If you don’t understand an investment, then you shouldn’t be investing it. Have a dozen different ways of investing with different banks, different funds, and different investment types. It’s good to bet against your own investments with mutually opposing investments. If one thing goes bad, you’ll have other things to fall back.

11) Keeping buying a little bit of your investments each week, when you get paid.
The fancy financial types call this cost-based-averaging. It’s also not bad idea to wait until the market drops back down and convert some savings to stock, but be patient and wait for a good drop in the market. When people have been panicking on Wall Street for a week, that’s a good time to drop that $5,000 or $10,000 you don’t really need and toss it in the market for the hell of it — knowing that you might never get the money back — but you might also make out well.

12) Pretend money in retirement accounts and stocks, unmature certificate of deposits is totally inaccessible and for all intents and purposes does not exist.
I mean I think have a ballpark idea what is in my investment accounts, but I don’t really give that much of dang, because it changes every day. I’m betting that in 20 years it will be a bigger amount. And for all intents and purposes, stock paper is an imaginary money — as stock paper has zero value until you cash it out.