Fear itself 😱

“The problem is all inside your head, she said to me. The answer is easy if you take it logically, I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free.”

So goes the old Paul Simon song. I realized that the anxiety attack on Thursday afternoon at work wasn’t a heart attack or even particularly rational. It was my truck. Management of the critical database at work. That promise I couldn’t deliver on. So many things trigger my sometimes diabilatating anxiety.

There are a lot of scary things in the world that one should not ignore, though one should always keep it in context. You can’t insist in perfect reliability or success at every outcome, as such a world would not only be boring but provide no real chance of advancing yourself. Little risk means little reward. It can be hard to put immediate fear in context.

I am working through my anxiety issues piece by piece in my brain. Weighting the pros and cons out, piece by piece. Part of it my weak social support next work and the need to develop new friends and connections. I’ve coasted along for years since college mostly relying on my parents as an essential support but I know soon they won’t be around and it’s getting more and more difficult for them to help in emergencies especially as they get older. When you are alone this world can be a scary place indeed.