I find lately I’ve been staying up later and later. This is a problem because I’ve continued to get up fairly early in the morning, with the early sunrises and my alarm .
My excuses for staying up late…
The sun doesn’t set until late and I want to see the stars or have a fire after dark
The evenings are mild and I want to sit out back and enjoy the fresh air before going into my stuffy bedroom
I get myself down some rat hole on my phone, learning about some random thing on the internet
I get watching some YouTube videos I previously downloaded
I don’t have to get up early because I’m working remotely
If I’m exhausted at work the next day nobody will know unless of course there is a Zoom meeting
Smoking cigarettes these days is pretty much considered to be an socially unacceptable behavior. Cigarette smokers are considered to be addicts, people with a bad habit, that at best need a medical intervention to quit their nasty habit. Strangely enough, such beliefs do not extend to those who eat a lot of processed foods that are high in sugars, salts and unhealthy fats.
Diabetes, especially the most common form of the disease, Type 2 Diabetes is largely caused by the over-consumption of sugars and unhealthy fats that destroys the pancreas due to the constant overproduction of insulin. Much like a light bulb or a motor driven with too much voltage, the pancreas cranking out all that insulin to burn off all that excess sugar in blood ultimately starts to burn out and body stops producing sufficient insulin which causes blood sugar to rise, which causes various organs and parts of the human body to break down, much like an automobile lacking engine oil or coolant.
It’s something one should want to avoid if all possible. Yet it’s hard, when so much of our culture is about promoting unhealthy, often processed foods. Processed foods aren’t inherently bad, but they are often bland and unpalatable without the addition of saturated fats, salt and sugars. Even when food is lightly processed, there is a trend to cook with saturated fats, salts and sugars for taste, even when there might be healthier options to cook with spices, fruits and vegetables.
Any popular dessert promoted widely in the culture is likely loaded with saturated fats, salt and sugars. But you don’t have to listen to the advice, you can go for natural flavors of fruit and vegetables, enhanced with spices. Cookies aren’t just bad for you because they have loads of sugar, and therefor calories, but also are bad for you because they use butter or palm oil shortenings to give them that soft texture. But there are other ways to get enjoyment in eating from natural foods.
For a while I was a bit obsessed with sugar and salt substitutes. I liked the idea of minimizing my sugar and therefore calorie intake by using things like Splenda or in case of salt, Accent MSG. But I am coming to realize such things are really false options. Many of the artificial sugars may have just as bad of impact as the real thing on one’s pancreas, and aren’t really about making the behavioral choice of eating food that isn’t so sweet or salty.
It’s not as hard for me as I live alone and have full control of the food I purchase at the store. If something is not in my pantry, then I can’t eat it. Yet, there are constant temptations — lunches out with the team, cookies and candy brought in the office, mom’s home cooking. To be rejecting it all seems to being a picky eater. Sometimes I don’t — I’ve learned to make peace with mom’s home cooking, as she’s not going to be around all that much longer and a meal I don’t have of hers, there is a good chance it won’t be available in the future. And it’s about averages, not the exceptional meal. But I do walk past those free cookies and cakes in the office.
One of the worse truths about life that finally clicked around the time I was forty.
It was a part of my discussions with my psychotherapist, listening to the Mother Country Radicals podcast, watching what happened on January 6th, the state ethics rules around my employment and getting bit in the press for expressing my thoughts about a public housing development proposed in the Pine Bush.
It bothers me a lot to look around and see the whole world around me to go shit, while I know my hands are largely tied. But I realize there are so many problems much bigger then myself that I have so little control over. I can refrain from engaging in certain activities, especially in my personal-time, that I find morally repugnant like consumerism, but there is so much I can’t change.
Acceptance of the way things are in the world, is one of the toughest things to do. Some people do go out of their way to change things, some go as far as to give up their careers, their future, and even their lives. Many have died for their country. But I care too much about my life, and I know the amount of change I can make to the world is far smaller then the change I can make to my own life.
I’ve chosen to live simply and frugally. I pass up on a lot of things others embrace. I try to live my own values, without imposing them on others. I don’t read the newspapers, I don’t own television or following every breaking news story. I have become less political, less upset about things outside of my own control. I have saved and invested, and are working to build a secure future for myself, regardless of what may happen to the world around me.
Maybe it’s immoral to not fight injustice in this world or try to make things better for us all. But I just don’t have the desire at this point. I have too much to loose, and not enough to win. I am happy to stand on the sidelines, observe, and think for myself but I do not want to involve myself in all of the world’s problems today.
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