I was so set on going to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan this summer. I realized last autumn that this would be possible, if I retired Big Red, built my new rig on a reliable new platform, and did it over two, well three days.

I figured out by Google Maps it would be doable – I could drive out to North Harmony State Forest or Chautaqua Gorge State Forest in very south-western New York State one day. A long but doable 5 1/2 hour drive at least on paper, not including breaks for fueling, meals, and restrooms. So probably 6 or 7 hours, because I like to stop and occasionally hop on back roads or some destination along the way. And then I thought the next day I could do Chautaqua County to Nordhouse Dunes, which was listed on paper as being 7 hours and 50 minutes of driving. Of course, that’s the paper number, and does not include required and necessary breaks.

But over this weekend, I actually started to break down what that 7 hour and 50 minute drive worked out to be. For one, add at least an hour for breaks and side diversions. So that gets you up to 9 hours of driving, not including the time to take down camp, and set up camp in wilderness in an uncertain location, having to drive around a find a campsite. And then I happened to actually look at the fine print, you know those ginamormous, pesky cities that happen to be in the way. The Midwest might be flat and have roads posted at 70 or 75 MPH, but yeah, there is Cleveland, Toledo, and then fucking Ann Arbor or a two lane highway for a bit, plus yeah, Grand Rapids. And somehow I don’t think the Ohio Turnpike is exactly like sleeply old I-99, the “Bud Sushter.” Bud’s swanky highway where acid pours out of the hillsides is a very pleasant drive to West Virigina outside of three miles past State College and Altoona. Somehow, I suspect the Ohio Turnpike is more like I-81 in Pennsylvania with a shit ton of truck traffic, probably left hand exits and no acceleration ramps, because they weren’t a thing before about 1950.

Maybe on the way back from Michigan I can do the trip in one very long day, but I certainly can’t do it other way, heading to unknown country to a place I’ve never camped or explored before. So that adds two days to a potential trip. And then reality of a 550 mile on day drive starts to hit home – with gas at $5.00 a gallon, that’s over $150 in fuel alone in one day driven based on my back of envelope calculation. I budgeted $600-700 in fuel for this trip, but still that’s a big sting for one day, not including all other costs. And I am thinking I do need to stay somewhere in Western Ohio or very Southern Michigan like at a campground, as I don’t see real other options – and hate motels. That reminds me too much of traveling for work, and I’m much too wild for shit like that on a vacation. It’s not the money, as much as I hate being cramped in a little miserable room with bed bugs for another $150, but even a campground in my mind seems like a cramped place to be. It’d rather be in the back country, a wild place.

In some ways it’s the best of years and the worse of years to travel. I worry I am getting older and the opportunity to travel might not exist forever. People at some point at their lives do get tied down with houses, livestock, family members who need assistance. On the other hand, I only have so much vacation time this year, and there is a lot of demands for work that keep me busy, and I can’t ensure good cell access especially in the wilds of Northern Michigan, which much like Adirondacks have vast areas with limited or no cell service. If I waited to next year, I could probably take off a full two weeks to do this trip. If I did in the autumn of 2027, I could avoid the crowds, maybe gas would be somewhat more affordable, but time comes with risk. What if personal or family obligations make such a trip impossible?

I am so reminded a lot of that kind of hellish drive back from West Virigina in 2023. I decided after taking down camp – after a great week – I would explore the Paw Paw Tunnel and the hick town of the same name on the border of Maryland and West Virigina and ride along a bunch of the C & O Canal. It was a wonderful day, amazing autumn weather. And I drove up along twisty, windy WV 29, up through and above the Great Capoun Valley.  then the horrors of fighting traffic on that shit road, I-68, which I like to call the National Disgrace, because of it’s love of short ramps and left exits. Then there was I-81, which of course has a rediculous amount of truck traffic on it, a complete standstill about 5 miles south of Harrisburg, miles of flatness and warehouses, then those steep hills climbing over the Appalachian Ridges and the seemingless endless miles of gob piles, scrub oak, and high ridgelines around Pottsville, and countless other hick town before I finally reached Scranton as it was getting dark, and made an emergency stop at Wally World to get caffeine  pills to stay awake as I drove towards Binghamton in a pouring rain storm. And trudged in darkness up past Binghamton, Chenango Forks in complete darkness, up past Greene and ultimately to Long Pond to finally park and pound some beers and fry up a few onions before collapsing into the bed of my truck. I should have left Paw Paw much earlier then 3 PM, but I thought the trip back across Pennsylvania would be a few hours less, not expecting the delays on the highway and necessary breaks, along with the pouring rain and poor visibility. But whatever, I did make it to camp, and the drive back home the next day wasn’t that bad. Still long drives suck.

So I don’t know, maybe it’s back to the Chicken Coop. You know, Chicken Co-Op Road as my GPS calls it in the Finger Lakes National Forest. Set up for I don’t know, 10 or 11 days, and do day trips from camp. Get up early on a Thursday or Friday, get bacon at 7 AM at For the Love of Bacon, stop for farm produce along NY 206 or NY 79, be setting up camp and cracking beers by around noon-time, and just hanging out for a week or so. Simple, easy, low stress, watching the cows eat their grass, paddling around the Finger Lakes, eating ice cream sundaes and riding the various bike trails. Maybe do more day trips to Elmira or Corning and Southern Tier. But be back to camp by 9 pm most nights, so I can lay back in the hammock, or sit down by Foster Pond watching the fireflies, the shooting stars and thunderstorms until 2 AM or so. Boring, basic shit, but easy. Not that awful drive, but I could find new places to explore in Southern Tier and Finger Lakes, so it’s not just yet another trip. But I still want to go to Michigan, see more of America, but the Ohio Turnpike and all those cities is such a complete turn off – to get out to great wilderness of Northern Michigan.