The truth is, I feel drained despite last night’s sleep. I’m walking through the woods at Schiffendecker Preserve, looking for whatever signs of spring I can find as March winds down. As I walk, I’m weighing my next move in negotiating for a new truck with various dealers. Nearby, the roar of traffic from the Thruway competes with the birdsong. Listening to Living Free in Tennessee – Nicole Sauce: You Are The Story You Tell Yourself. That is the truth: it is sunny, but breezy. Fire weather if not so damp.
I am just trying to process it all. This is about more than a vehicle; it’s about who I want to be as I grow older. While the truck is a major outlay, it represents hundreds of nights in the wilderness by a fire. In the context of my investments and future plans, the cost isn’t a dealbreaker. I’m not doing this to impress anyone—it’s a big, ugly work truck—I’m buying it for the recreation. If it doesn’t fit my lifestyle in a few years, I can always sell it. I don’t want to become a “commuter.”
When my parents pass and I take over their homestead, I can buy a small probably electric car for trips from the country to work and keep the truck for farm work—hauling goats, hogs, and trash to the transfer station. My parehts neighborhood is too residential for burning much, thanks to the burn ban, but in the meantime, it would be a nice homestead before I get the off-the-grid property in a free state. And the truck remains my dream rig for seeing America—provided gas doesn’t get too expensive. I’m genuinely freaked out by the war in the Middle East, rising gas prices, and inflation, but I’m not ready to give up on traveling or the freedom of the road, even if I still mostly use my bike and the bus around town.
I’m also not giving up on my dream of an off-grid homestead in a free state when I retire. I want a solar setup I’ve built myself, no utility bills, and the freedom to shoot or burn whatever is necessary. It won’t happen today—it takes time—and it isn’t a realistic dream in a place like New York. It’s the city that pays the taxes and, ultimately, the salary that will make that dream a reality. Some might say I’m forgoing that future for a big, ugly truck now, but I know I’m not.
I listen to the roar of traffic and the breeze, searching for those signs of spring. So far, it’s mostly just winter fireflies and a few wild chives—which are delicious, with that rich flavor of garlic and onion. Today is not the future; it is only today. I have to enjoy what I have now while saving for that great tomorrow.
Truth is all these days of pure madness have been leaving me sick with almost flu like symptoms, but I am not sure if it’s my madness studying every angle every day night, looking at the shadows as I hallucinate from the cannabis and coffee.
After a bitterly cold Saturday, 🌬️ I got the bike tire patched and back on my bike. Still spending endless hours researching trucks and dealership negogation tactics, 🛻 trying both to figure out what I really want as Iran blows up and how to get it at a fair price. Ultimately it’s not about the money, but my self respect in the deal, I don’t want to be just another consumer endlessly ripped off the at dealership. I work hard for my money, and I’m willing to forgo some of it for great adventures traveling, but it has to be fair. 👻 But I worry I am seeing things that aren’t really there these days, like that shadow that scared me other day in the corner.
Monsters scare me, 🤖 as do the ever so strange looking shadows that are necessary for me to get a least a few hours of sleep each night. But I’m trying to be educated and informed. 🤓 Is it pure madness to even be considering a truck with a 48-gallon fuel ⛽ tank as several of them I’ve been negogating over have – and others have a 34-gallon tank. And that 7.3L is fuelish, and the 6.8L is no Toyota Prisus. And what about Iran 🇮🇷 and Climate Change? 🌎 There won’t be much left of the ice on poles by the time I retire the SuperDuty, and it’s expected to be a record hot summer this year. 🥵 If my remaining deals fall apart this week, then maybe I’ll consider alternatives. On the other hand, that new truck would be great for camping and traveling, 🏕️ after I overcame the pain of filing it up. But first I got to overcome my endless jitters and find a way to at least get a few hours of sleep 💤 and restore my fried brain.
Heading to Walmart and probably the Schiffendecker Preserve 🐦 for a while. Then it’s off to see Mom and Dad, well dad is picking me up, and I can tell him about the great adventures I’ve had this week car shopping. 🚗 Then it’s back home and another week of negotiating. But I think while stressful and wearing me down, 😫 it will be worth it. And if not for the truck, for future endeavors as I’m learning so much on how to read people and think critically from the perspective of the people on the otherside of deal. 🤝 People think negotiations are about witty and clever remarks, but actually it’s about always putting things in frame of mind of the opposite side and being well researched, taking your time and being careful. But yeah, first Wally World.
