It’s quite the renovation of the unit next door. They’re ripping the wall down to the studs, replacing all the plumbing and wiring. It’s like they’re the tnew landlord is taking out everything but the shell of the building, indeed he did even pull out one of doors from the other unit. He’s even jack hammering and cutting through the slab floor. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the other unit but I didn’t think it was that bad, though fairly worn and dated interior.

I guess I don’t have to feel guilty about anything that I’ve broken or worn out in the 16 ½ years I’ve lived here. I don’t have to worry about the mold and rust or the 30 year old refrigerator handle that pulled loose , cracked floors from the perpetual wetness, the mud tracked in over the years or the holes worn in the carpet if it’s lik ely everything in my unit is going to end up in the dump in Rensselaer once I move out.

Of course who knows how much longer I can stay here. One line of thought is that as long as I pay the increased rent starting June I’ll be able to stay here as long as I want – as the new landlord will lack the budget to heavily renovate a second unit. Or does he plan to continue to gentrify the rest of the building complex? I guess moving isn’t the end of the world, there are other places I can live for the next year and few rental agreements are for more than a year.

I could and maybe should have looked more seriously at the handful of rather generic suburban houses that have come on the market lately. I could certainly have financed them or even paid with cash. I have excellent credit after all. Some are quite pretty and some fairly small and affordable if suburbanite living for the next thirty years is what I want with a green lawn, a picket fence and a Toyota Corolla. But that seems so plastic much like the plastic siding their covered on their sides.

I am continuing to study and research building an off grid homestead but it’s complicated and expensive so I don’t want to rush too quickly and get stuck with land or a life that I don’t want. It’s fascinating to study the land that’s coming on the market, off grid technologies and building techniques. Plus I’m still very undecided about building in New York State. Not only are politics toxic and don’t reflect my values, it’s really hard to find land anywhere near the city that is the rural experience that I crave. But I do worry I’m just wasting time when there Are more direct paths to action even if none of them are quite what I want.