I talked to banks about getting a mortgage and started down the road for pre-approval. I talked to my friend who has the 10 acre old homestead in Greenville, how he got there. I looked at several houses, toured one in June asked questions about one to a realtor. I read books about buying a house and building your own. The houses and properties I actually liked where much too far from work. Many had other issues, some would have been a cash purchase and needed to be built from the ground up, prefab or otherwise. Most much where too large.

The banks were happy to steer me towards a conventional 30 year mortgage for $2,000 a month. It would finance up to $275k to $300k, probably more house then I would need and want but actually not an unrealistic budget when a lot of ready to move into, nicely maintained but older houses are in the quarter of a million range. Of course, most that the banks really like are your very typical and boring house in suburbia. And I would be paying that through my 72nd birthday, assuming that I didn’t refinance and didn’t pay it off early.

It’s really hard to find a house under 750 square feet. Some people are like don’t you want to heat and clean an extra room or two as a home office? Plus storage for tons of crap you’ll most certainly secure as a homeowner. No not really. Honestly, I thought that 700 sq ft house I toured was bigger than I liked. Plus it had a dirty old oil burner and no wood stove. Plus I guess running water, flush toilets and an indoor shower are great in the winter and for reasons of convenience but it just seems like a lot of crap to break.

What I really want is the simple, small hunting style cabin that is common in the Adirondacks or the more remote parts of Pennsylvania. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have some solar panels, gravity sink and hand pump, outhouse and outdoor heated shower. Propane range for cooking. I get such living is harder than the current suburbia way of living but I despise the shinny trash everything every other week and replace of suburbia with the shiny and new.

I could have looked harder this summer gone by, had I not spent so much time up in the woods, reading, smoking pot, riding my mountain bike, floating in the tube and finding distraction in my kind. I could have moved Zillow back on my phone as soon as I killed my phone and aggressively persued every listing I could find that sort of made sense to me. But I did not, preferring to spend as much of my summer up in the wilderness, high as a kite while I kept sending my landlord $800 checks as he hammers and grinds along the unit next door as a gentle reminder that time is not long for my current moldy apartment.

I mean this summer is not unlike other summers. Big Red brought me to the wilderness for many nice nights though the cannabis and the Grateful Dead records were a friendly addition. Maybe it was much too ordinary of a summer with a little extra sparkles. But if I had been a little more aggressive I could have my own land at this point, be growing my own cannabis and having livestock, or at least clearly leading to that point. And I’m now a full director in my office, this should mean I should have moved out of just out of college apartment.

Truth is that I’ve not found what is right for me. I’m not going to waste my money on a big house in the suburbs that I despise and don’t care about. A house might be a good decision if you care about the building and where you live, but I don’t want some place out in the suburbs with vinyl siding and carpeting that I don’t give a rats ass about and wouldn’t care if the roof collapses or the building burns to the ground. A house is not a good investment if you don’t care about it and would be just as happy with it not long in the world.