I so wish that I could have found all the answers after smoking a little bit of pot. Wouldn’t life be great if you could have all the answers after smoking some grass?

In many ways, it’s hard to believe another year is coming to a close so quickly. It’s been a year since I’ve been the Director of Data Services, a year since I moved out to the suburban office in Menands. Almost a year since I learned my landlord had sold my building, and I seriously started looking at buying land, and maybe a house or building something. In many ways, a very ordinary but very strange year at the same time, culminating with the election of Donald Trump, which because a gun control ad I saw the morning I got my absentee ballot, I decided to vote for probably out of pure spite and because I knew a protest vote didn’t make a difference in New York. He’s going to be such a buffoon over the next four years — I hope he doesn’t trash my investments and my future too much. But I really don’t have a plan, despite all the research and hope I’ve had.

This past year, I looked a lot of houses and land, at least online. I took some drives out into the country, explored some back roads, looked at what real estate agents were selling, what was available, and even toured a house next to my parents house that was for sale. It was a neat property, but it wasn’t right for me. I am actually quite off-put by the whole idea of owning a big house, with the costly energy bills and all the furniture and appliances you need to buy. Plus those big gas bills driving back and forth to work in the city, even if I got a more practical vehicle for driving to and form work, giving up the buses and my mountain bike as primary commuting vehicles. I might be a country boy at heart, but I sure like not having to drive to and from work every day, and deal with traffic. Even snaking through the back streets of Albany’s south end — staying late at work — commuting by my big jacked up ain’t fun.

I’ve in many ways wasted a perfectly good year, smoking pot, drinking beer and hanging out in the woods, doing the remote work thing whenever I could get away with it, like during the autumn months from camp. A year watching my parents grow older, a year watching the days disappear much too quickly, knowing the years aren’t that much more for them, enjoying the final minutes that seem to last forever, until they’re gone. I really should settle down, have a house, but the options are all bad. So many of the things that pass as housing are big, energy sucking vacuums and what is supposed to be nice, is just complete tackiness. Plus, 3/4 of the houses I see in the listings are located in ghetto. Or the suburbs.

Renting forever is a bad idea, it’s not sustainable. I was able to come to an agreement with my current landlord, for some extra money, to stay where I am, but the options are all so bad. I really don’t want to buy in New York, but every check sent to landlord, is money forever lost. Though I still need housing. Yet, the traditional 30-year mortgage would mean I would be paying $2,000 a month for housing through age 72 at this point. So I don’t know, but I still like the idea of building my own, in a place that reflects my values. I have assets I could do it if I want — I could leave any day — but I really like my job and I do good work. The title is amazing and I think I’m doing good work. It feels good to have a year under my belt as the Director of Data Services. You know, it’s now my operation, the buck stops at my desk. I have implemented some changes to improve agency efficiency, and expanded the number of products we are offering to clients, and plan to offer even more in the coming year. It’s exciting to see some of your ideas actually implemented and how they improve process flow. At the same time, I do miss working downtown, though I get up there more and more these days for meetings.

And after a year of solid gains in the stock market and high interest rates, my net worth looks good, as I’m working for a better tomorrow. Yet, it’s so cold in my apartment much of the winter, as I keep the drafty old unit in disrepair at 50 degrees as long as it’s not so cold I have to worry about burst pipes. And it is such a run down dump, in part due to my years of neglect, though my previous landlord wasn’t that interested in repairs either. I still take the bus and shuttle to work on days I don’t ride my bike to work. And I still don’t own a television or have home internet. Yet, I know it can’t go on forever, just like Big Red, my big jacked up truck, is getting old and worn out. But it’s been good for what it has been.

Really I can’t know what tomorrow brings. Things are tough, but they are getting better. Maybe I should have made progress this year, but there weren’t a lot of good options out there, so I’m making do with what I have currently. But I do wish I could have better, but I really have nothing but disdain for those big houses, filled with fancy furniture and technology. I like my small dumpy apartment, and taking the bus or my bike to work every day.