American Outrage Over Red Blinkers

I hear that Congress passed Trade Promotion Authority for the President. This will certainly mean the demise of red blinkers on the backs of American cars. This is an exclusive American feature on our cars. Unsafe? Maybe. But it’s one of the ways that American cars are globally unique. Heck, even the Japanese have been putting red blinkers on their cars, to be more red-blooded American (and because America requires bigger tail lamps).

Where is the outrage? Red-blooded Americans should have right to red blinkers. Americans shouldn’t put up with foreign countries demanding we have ugly amber blinkers on the rear end of our cars. I’m sure the Republicans will put in a bill to protect the basic American right to have red blinkers on the rear-end of our cars.

Of course, if our American Automakers were patriotic but want to be trade-friendly, there is an alternative they could adapt. They could use clear glass and have yellow light bulbs. That way the blinkers appear white — blending in with the backup lights — until somebody hit’s the blinker button and they turn yellow. But that might cost Detroit 50 cents more per car and that is simply un-American.