If you are grieving on this Father’s Day…

Said the email from one of the mental health lists I’m subscribed to.

I’m in my forties, and I am well aware of that day coming for my mom and dad. I try to get out and spend time with them as you never know when it will be your last visit. Sure, there are signs of decline but it happens gradually until it’s over. I’ve seen it time and time again with older people I know.

One of the things I grapple with is what questions to ask and what things to say before it’s too late. I often struggle to find the words to say to those who I know are in their final chapters. I usually just focus on the present and wish them good luck and after a while small chatting, it’s I’ll see you soon. Usually that’s how the final conversation ends.

Some people give gifts and trinkets. I’ve never been into that material things. Instead I give time, some conversation and focus on the today. I enjoy taking my parents on road trips and showing them some of the places I’ve explored and camped in the back country. Time together is what really matters as you can never get that back.

Will I grieve when I lose my parents? Yes, for sure but I won’t dewell on it forever. Yet, I will find closure and put it behind me, knowing there were the good times and some questions will never be answered. It’s fine though, you can’t get back days that were but only live for today while making the right choices today for a better tomorrow.