Why I Want to Move to Pennsylvania
I really like the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and it’s culture. Reminds me a lot of the New York of yesteryear. Yet, unlike New York State, where the urban culture of New York City, with its nanny-state laws and regulations, seems to have such a grip over the State, Pennsylvania seems to be a lot more wild and free. Public servants tend to be friendlier their, the public land seems to be more better maintained and open for more varied uses, and the state seems to be more open to the ideas and beliefs of rural folk like myself.
I like a lot of things about Pennsylvania. It has vast tracts of public land in the North-Western portion of the commonwealth, and a healthy base of agriculture in other regions. A lot of state is very rural, and the Capitol of the state is far less metropolitan then New York. While Philadelphia may be a metropolitan center of commonwealth, other areas like Pittsburgh and Scranton are far more working class and connected with the farm land around it.
…even the small things in Pennsylvania are nice.
There is minimal state gun control statues, no need to get a pistol permit and pay money to have every handgun in one’s house listed on a statewide registry. You want a gun in Pennsylvania, you pay money, and it’s yours.The right to farm is strongly upheld, and their isn’t a culture that wants to go after all hunting, fishing, ATVs, snowmobiles, wood boilers, burn barrels, coal furnaces, or natural gas drilling. Rural folk in Pennsylvania do what they need to do, without being looked down at and controlled by the urban folk.
I could see some day moving to Pennsylvania, owning some land out in the sticks. Doing a little hobby farming, raising some cattle and chickens and other animals, have being bonfires and burning whatever I want. Owning lots of guns, having a big pickup truck, a quad, and all of other toys of the good rural life. Taxes are lower in Pennsylvania. A culture that isn’t so controlling of everything.
The Freedom of Pennsylvania. A state I really like.
Adult Conversations
Navigating conversations with aging parents requires balancing empathy with proactive preparation. Initiate these discussions early, ideally while your parents are healthy and independent, to ensure their choices are honored.
1. Document Medical and Care Preferences
- Healthcare Proxy: Identify who will make medical decisions if they cannot speak for themselves.
- Living Will: Outline specific preferences for life-sustaining treatments, resuscitation, and end-of-life care.
- Daily Living Support: Discuss their preferences for long-term care, such as assisted living or staying at home with in-home care aides.
- Organ Donation: Clarify their wishes regarding organ and tissue donation.Â
2. Organize Financial Matters
- Account Access: Location of bank accounts, retirement funds, investments, and insurance policies.
- Power of Attorney (POA): Designate a trusted person to manage financial affairs if they become incapacitated.
- Routine Bills: Create a list of recurring expenses, automatic payments, and digital account passwords.
- Debt and Liabilities: Understand any outstanding mortgages, loans, or credit card balances.Â
3. Review Legal and Estate Planning
- Will or Trust: Confirm they have an updated will or trust and know where the original documents are stored.
- Asset Ownership: Ensure titles to property, vehicles, and financial accounts are updated with correct beneficiaries.
- Digital Estate: Document passwords, master PINs, and instructions for managing or closing social media and email accounts.Â
4. Evaluate Housing and Safety
- Home Accessibility: Assess if their current home safely accommodates mobility changes, or if modifications like grab bars are needed.
- Relocation Plans: Discuss if and when they would want to downsize or move closer to family members.
- Driving and Mobility: Establish a gentle plan for transitioning away from driving when it is no longer safe.Â
5. Discuss Legacy and End-of-Life Wishes
- Funeral Preferences: Clarify choices between burial or cremation, preferred service formats, and pre-funded funeral arrangements.
- Ethical Will: Document their values, life lessons, stories, and personal histories they want passed down.
- Personal Belongings: Ask about the distribution of sentimental items, family heirlooms, or photos.Â
The Rwandan Genocide and Learning in High School
Back in High School, I remember there being a lot of lectures on things that didn’t seem relevant to Modern America, much less the hick town I grew up. One of the things that I particularly remember learning about was the Rwandan Genocide and the Hutus and Tutsis in the Lake Region of Africa, which seemed far removed from rundown trailers with goats and smoldering burn barrels out back, the smells of manure and kerosene heating in the small towns in the foothills of the Catskills. At one level, you could understand the difference from the beef cattle grazers versus the dairymen, growing up in a small town, but it was still so distant from Africa.
Still to this day, I felt like High School spent a lot of time talking about genocide and the holocaust and far away lands, but almost no coverage of contemporary American History or politics. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, but nothing about Lyndon Johnson or Richard Nixon – much less George Bush or Clinton. Participation in Government, when I finally got to that class in High School seemed to be such a refreshing change compared to all the study of distant lands and culture far away from today. Maybe that’s why I ultimately decided on studying political science in college.
The truth is while the Rwandan Genocide was far removed from Greenville, it was still horrific, even if not exactly relevant to average kid growing up in a hick town.
An Overview of the Rwandan Genocide and the Hutus and Tutsis
The Hutus and Tutsis are two social and ethnic groups primarily associated with the African Great Lakes region, most notably Rwanda and Burundi. Though they are famously known for the horrific 1994 Rwandan Genocide, they are not separate races or tribes; they share the same language (Kinyarwanda/Kirundi), live in the same areas, and practice the same cultural and religious traditions.
1. Traditional and Pre-Colonial Shared History
Historically, the distinction between the two groups was defined more by socioeconomic class and occupation than genetics.
- The Hutus made up the vast majority (roughly 85%) of the population and were predominantly agriculturalists or farmers.
- The Tutsis made up a minority (around 14%) and were primarily pastoralists (cattle herders), warriors, and part of the ruling elite or monarchy.
- Social Mobility: Prior to European colonization, these categories were fluid. If a Hutu acquired significant cattle and wealth, they could become an “honorary Tutsi”. Intermarriage between the groups was also common.Â
2. Colonial “Divide and Conquer” Policies
The modern, rigid division between Hutus and Tutsis was engineered by European colonizers—first Germany (1885–1916) and later Belgium (1916–1962).
- The Hamitic Hypothesis: Employing racist pseudo-scientific methods, European colonial powers claimed that the taller, thinner Tutsis were racially superior and descended from Ethiopian elites.
- Institutional Favoritism: The Belgians institutionalized this hierarchy by excluding Hutus from higher education, administrative jobs, and leadership, fueling deep resentment among the Hutu majority.
- Identity Cards: In 1932, the Belgian administration introduced mandatory ethnic identity cards. This completely halted social mobility and fixed a person’s ethnic label from birth.Â
3. The Shift to Violence and Power Struggle
As African nations began fighting for independence in the late 1950s, the political dynamic inverted.
- The 1959 Revolution: Sensing the shift in global politics, Belgian authorities abruptly switched their allegiance to the Hutu majority. A violent Hutu uprising overthrew the Tutsi monarchy, resulting in the massacres of tens of thousands of Tutsis and forcing hundreds of thousands more into exile in neighboring countries.
- Post-Independence Tensions: When Rwanda gained independence in 1962, a Hutu-led government took control. Exiled Tutsis formed a rebel military group in Uganda called the Rwandan Patriotic Front (RPF). In 1990, the RPF invaded Rwanda, sparking a bitter civil war.Â
4. The 1994 Rwandan Genocide
The ethnic tension culminated in one of the darkest chapters of the 20th century.
- The Catalyst: On April 6, 1994, a plane carrying Rwandan President Juvénal Habyarimana (a Hutu) was shot down. Hutu extremists immediately blamed the Tutsis.
- The Slaughter: Over a span of roughly 100 days, state-backed Hutu militias (the Interahamwe) systematically murdered an estimated 800,000 to 1 million people—primarily Tutsis, but also politically moderate Hutus who refused to participate. Neighbors turned on neighbors, heavily incited by hate propaganda from local radio stations.
- The End of the Genocide: The genocide concluded in July 1994 when the Tutsi-led RPF, commanded by current Rwandan President Paul Kagame, captured the capital city of Kigali and overthrew the extremist regime. Fearing retribution, over 2 million Hutus fled the country into neighboring Zaire (now the DRC), sparking an ongoing humanitarian and military crisis in central Africa.Â
5. The Debate Over US Involvement
The debate regarding United States involvement in the 1994 Rwandan Genocide centers heavily on the tension between moral obligation and post-Cold War political caution. While the Clinton administration initially faced immense criticism for its passivity, the debate has evolved over the decades into a broader geopolitical case study on humanitarian intervention, international law, and global responsibility.
| Aspect | Arguments for Non-Invention (The US Stance at the Time) | Arguments for Intervention (The Critical Counter-Perspective) |
|---|---|---|
| The “Somalia Syndrome” | The US had just lost 18 soldiers in the disastrous 1993 Battle of Mogadishu (Somalia). Public and congressional appetite for African peacekeeping missions was virtually non-existent. | The US failed to separate a chaotic, hostile urban battle in Somalia from a highly structured, state-sponsored genocide against unarmed civilians in Rwanda. |
| Legal Semantics | Under the 1948 UN Genocide Convention, a formal declaration of “genocide” legally obligates signatories to intervene. US officials strictly ordered staff to use phrases like “acts of genocide” to avoid this legal trigger. | Intellectuals and human rights groups argue that hiding behind semantic loopholes undermined the spirit of international human rights law and cost nearly a million lives. |
| National Interest | From a realist foreign policy perspective, Rwanda possessed no strategic minerals, oil, or critical geographic value to US national security. | Critics argue that global stability and stopping mass atrocities constitute a core moral national interest for a global superpower. |
| Intelligence Discrepancy | Declassified documents show some officials claimed confusion over whether the violence was a continuation of the civil war or an ethnic slaughter. | Extensive intelligence briefings, including early warnings from UN Commander Roméo Dallaire, proved the administration knew a systematic extermination was occurring. |
6. What the US Did in Rawanda
Instead of putting boots on the ground, the US government took diplomatic actions that inadvertently slowed down the international response:
- Blocking UN Reinforcements: The US used its veto power on the UN Security Council to successfully demand that the UN peacekeeping force in Rwanda (UNAMIR) be drawn down from over 2,000 troops to just a few hundred.
- Refusing Technology Jams: The Pentagon rejected requests to jam the Radio Télévision Libre des Mille Collines (RTLM)—the hate radio station broadcasting the coordinates of Tutsis in hiding—citing concerns over high costs and free speech laws.
- Late Humanitarian Aid: The US only mobilized significant resources after the genocide ended, providing millions of dollars in aid to the massive refugee camps that formed in neighboring Zaire (now the DRC).Â
7. The Shift in Public Discourse and Legacy
The domestic and international debate surrounding this failure significantly altered how the world approaches humanitarian crises.
- The Clinton Apology: In 1998, President Bill Clinton traveled to Kigali, Rwanda, and delivered what became known as the “Clinton Apology.” He acknowledged that the international community and the US failed to act quickly enough, stating, “We did not act quickly enough after the killing began… We must ignore those who say these brutal conflicts are ethnic and therefore incurable.”
- The “Responsibility to Protect” (R2P): The policy failure in Rwanda directly inspired the United Nations to adopt the Responsibility to Protect (R2P) doctrine in 2005. This global political commitment establishes that if a sovereign state fails to protect its citizens from mass atrocities, the international community has a collective responsibility to intervene.
- Modern Precedent: Today, whenever the US debates intervention in global conflicts—from Libya and Syria to modern-day crises—the failure in Rwanda is consistently invoked by interventionists as the ultimate warning of what happens when the international community decides to do nothing.
8. Today in Rawanda
To heal the wounds of the past and prevent future violence, the post-genocide Rwandan government strictly banned the use of the ethnic labels “Hutu” and “Tutsi”. National identity cards no longer list ethnicity, and the government has legally prohibited speech that promotes ethnic division. Today, citizens are legally and socially encouraged to identify strictly under a single, unified national identity: Rwandan.
Navigating anticipatory grief
I go out to visit my parents nearly every Sunday. Most of the time the meal time goes well, but I am constantly reminded that this might be our last time together. Indeed, navigating anticipatory grief involves a delicate balance of acknowledging your future loss while remaining fully anchored in the present moments you still have. It is a common experience when caring for aging parents, and acknowledging that these feelings are a normal part of the process is often the first step toward healing.Â
Strategies for the Present Moment
Focusing on the present can help alleviate anxiety about the future and allow you to cherish your remaining time.
- Sensory Grounding: During your Sunday dinners, intentionally notice five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
- Memory Banking: Consciously “record” details about your time together, such as your parents’ laughter or the specific way they tell a story.
- Heartfelt Connection: Use this time to engage in activities you both enjoy, share stories, and explicitly express your love and gratitude. This can help achieve a sense of closure even while they are still here.Â
Managing Emotional Weight
Grief is exhausting, and it is vital to manage how you process it so it doesn’t overwhelm your daily life.
- Grieve in Small Doses: Psychologists recommend “confronting and restoring”—spending some time with your grief and then intentionally shifting your mental energy to other things to give yourself a respite.
- Acknowledge All Emotions: Give yourself permission to feel whatever arises—sadness, anger, fear, or even relief. Your sadness is valid even before the actual loss.
- Creative Outlets: Journaling, art, or recording voice memos can help you express heavy thoughts without needing to explain them to anyone else.Â
Building a Support System
You do not have to carry this burden alone.
- Honest Communication: Speak honestly with someone you trust, such as a close friend, sibling, or spiritual advisor. Sometimes simply stating “I’m already grieving” can soften the weight.
- Professional Guidance: If the feelings become overwhelming, a counselor or therapist can provide specific coping strategies and a safe space to talk.
- Caregiver Support Groups: Connecting with others who share this lived experience can reduce feelings of isolation.Â
Prioritizing Personal Well-being
Caring for yourself is essential to ensure you have the emotional capacity to support your parents.
- Foundational Self-Care: Maintain a healthy diet, stay hydrated, and ensure you get enough sleep.
- Physical Activity: Regular exercise, even a walk through a park, can help reduce stress and improve your mood.
- Routine and Stability: Creating a consistent daily routine can help you feel more grounded during uncertain times.Â












