Growing Older 📍

One of the worse truths about life that finally clicked around the time I was forty.

It was a part of my discussions with my psychotherapist, listening to the Mother Country Radicals podcast, watching what happened on January 6th, the state ethics rules around my employment and getting bit in the press for expressing my thoughts about a public housing development proposed in the Pine Bush.

It bothers me a lot to look around and see the whole world around me to go shit, while I know my hands are largely tied. But I realize there are so many problems much bigger then myself that I have so little control over. I can refrain from engaging in certain activities, especially in my personal-time, that I find morally repugnant like consumerism, but there is so much I can’t change.

Acceptance of the way things are in the world, is one of the toughest things to do. Some people do go out of their way to change things, some go as far as to give up their careers, their future, and even their lives. Many have died for their country. But I care too much about my life, and I know the amount of change I can make to the world is far smaller then the change I can make to my own life.

I’ve chosen to live simply and frugally. I pass up on a lot of things others embrace. I try to live my own values, without imposing them on others. I don’t read the newspapers, I don’t own television or following every breaking news story. I have become less political, less upset about things outside of my own control. I have saved and invested, and are working to build a secure future for myself, regardless of what may happen to the world around me.

Maybe it’s immoral to not fight injustice in this world or try to make things better for us all. But I just don’t have the desire at this point. I have too much to loose, and not enough to win. I am happy to stand on the sidelines, observe, and think for myself but I do not want to involve myself in all of the world’s problems today.