Growing Older
Lately I have had such a case of wanting to keep up with the Jones
Lately I have had such a case of wanting to keep up with the Jones. It just seems like all my friends are buying home and homesteads, getting land, moving out to country and raising stock and families. Then I follow all these off-grid and homesteading groups on Facebook, and my feed is constantly filled with pictures of cattle and hogs, vast open spaces out west, Alaska, the true west and mid-west.
At one level, I feel like I am getting older and not making much progress. It seems like I’m still in my miserable little apartment, which is so cold and dirty, worn out and broken, but I like the location. I like the library and park, and choosing to go without wired internet. I am dropping the hotspot plan as soon as I go back to working downtown and the library re-opens for in-person use.
But at the same time, I totaled up this evening the money I’m investing and saving on a weekly basis, and while it looks relatively small on any one account, it does add up when you add up the various accounts, especially over time. But it’s not where I need to be today, although I probably could put down a pretty good down payment or even buy a modest house, but that would require me to sell of many of my investments and deplete a lot of my savings.
I just don’t want to live the suburbanite life, with the big screen televisions, the status symbols of the SUV or hybrid car, the chemically-fertilized lawn, the neighbors right next store. And the plastic! I’d rather die then live in a house with vinyl siding and two car garage. My heart is not in suburbia, it’s in the open country, some of the wild places I’ve explored and even more so the places I’ve read about and seen on the Youtube. The small towns that smell like silage and cow shit, the farm country, the ranches and vast mountains out west. Or even the small-towns like you might find in many parts of New York in a more subdued fashion. Upstate New York is fine, but it’s expensive and it’s a land of red tape and waste.
Some of my friends and colleagues took the small leap, buying land out in country, and still commuting back to Albany-area for work. It’s a lot of driving, and much of the rural land around here, while rural is far more urbanized and regulated then what you might find in the wilds of West Virginia, Missouri or Idaho. Land prices are pretty high, especially for acreage, and there are still a lot of codes to be followed. Yes, I’ve been to places like the Southern Tier and the Black River Valley, or far reaches of North Country, but even the most remote and wild small town in New York isn’t like so much of world I’ve been learning and reading about.
I really hate to sign my new lease and the commitment it brings at the higher price for the next year, but I can’t make the numbers work to move. I’d love to own land, but it’s expensive locally, and I don’t really have enough money to buy what I want or would need outright. I sure like having the bus I can take to work downtown, the library, park, and wildlife observation grounds a short walk from home. And honestly, I don’t really want to spend my whole life in Upstate New York, when I’ve seen there are other places in the world and other places. But I feel like re-upping my lease is just kicking the can down the road — sure I have fun traveling now — but I also feel like I’m making little progress compared to what my friends and colleagues are.
Life Expectancy Years
Babies Born in New York State, 1983
On this day, January 29, 1983 there was one baby boy and girl born to parents residing in Albany County. One of 123 babies born state wide on that day, and 2,583 nation wide. I guess that means today is my birthday 🎂
In case you are wondering, January birthdays are actually relatively uncommon. The most common birthdays are in late September as many people request babies 🎄for Christmas and with the supply chain disruptions aren't available for about 266 days or 9 months later. 🤱
Diabetes 🍬
Smoking cigarettes these days is pretty much considered to be an socially unacceptable behavior. Cigarette smokers are considered to be addicts, people with a bad habit, that at best need a medical intervention to quit their nasty habit. Strangely enough, such beliefs do not extend to those who eat a lot of processed foods that are high in sugars, salts and unhealthy fats.
Diabetes, especially the most common form of the disease, Type 2 Diabetes is largely caused by the over-consumption of sugars and unhealthy fats that destroys the pancreas due to the constant overproduction of insulin. Much like a light bulb or a motor driven with too much voltage, the pancreas cranking out all that insulin to burn off all that excess sugar in blood ultimately starts to burn out and body stops producing sufficient insulin which causes blood sugar to rise, which causes various organs and parts of the human body to break down, much like an automobile lacking engine oil or coolant.
It’s something one should want to avoid if all possible. Yet it’s hard, when so much of our culture is about promoting unhealthy, often processed foods. Processed foods aren’t inherently bad, but they are often bland and unpalatable without the addition of saturated fats, salt and sugars. Even when food is lightly processed, there is a trend to cook with saturated fats, salts and sugars for taste, even when there might be healthier options to cook with spices, fruits and vegetables.
Any popular dessert promoted widely in the culture is likely loaded with saturated fats, salt and sugars. But you don’t have to listen to the advice, you can go for natural flavors of fruit and vegetables, enhanced with spices. Cookies aren’t just bad for you because they have loads of sugar, and therefor calories, but also are bad for you because they use butter or palm oil shortenings to give them that soft texture. But there are other ways to get enjoyment in eating from natural foods.
For a while I was a bit obsessed with sugar and salt substitutes. I liked the idea of minimizing my sugar and therefore calorie intake by using things like Splenda or in case of salt, Accent MSG. But I am coming to realize such things are really false options. Many of the artificial sugars may have just as bad of impact as the real thing on one’s pancreas, and aren’t really about making the behavioral choice of eating food that isn’t so sweet or salty.
It’s not as hard for me as I live alone and have full control of the food I purchase at the store. If something is not in my pantry, then I can’t eat it. Yet, there are constant temptations — lunches out with the team, cookies and candy brought in the office, mom’s home cooking. To be rejecting it all seems to being a picky eater. Sometimes I don’t — I’ve learned to make peace with mom’s home cooking, as she’s not going to be around all that much longer and a meal I don’t have of hers, there is a good chance it won’t be available in the future. And it’s about averages, not the exceptional meal. But I do walk past those free cookies and cakes in the office.
“If you can’t save your country, you can at least save yourself. “
One of the worse truths about life that finally clicked around the time I was forty.
It was a part of my discussions with my psychotherapist, listening to the Mother Country Radicals podcast, watching what happened on January 6th, the state ethics rules around my employment and getting bit in the press for expressing my thoughts about a public housing development proposed in the Pine Bush.
It bothers me a lot to look around and see the whole world around me to go shit, while I know my hands are largely tied. But I realize there are so many problems much bigger then myself that I have so little control over. I can refrain from engaging in certain activities, especially in my personal-time, that I find morally repugnant like consumerism, but there is so much I can’t change.
Acceptance of the way things are in the world, is one of the toughest things to do. Some people do go out of their way to change things, some go as far as to give up their careers, their future, and even their lives. Many have died for their country. But I care too much about my life, and I know the amount of change I can make to the world is far smaller then the change I can make to my own life.
I’ve chosen to live simply and frugally. I pass up on a lot of things others embrace. I try to live my own values, without imposing them on others. I don’t read the newspapers, I don’t own television or following every breaking news story. I have become less political, less upset about things outside of my own control. I have saved and invested, and are working to build a secure future for myself, regardless of what may happen to the world around me.
Maybe it’s immoral to not fight injustice in this world or try to make things better for us all. But I just don’t have the desire at this point. I have too much to loose, and not enough to win. I am happy to stand on the sidelines, observe, and think for myself but I do not want to involve myself in all of the world’s problems today.